UnArmed, UnArmored and Totally EnAmored!!

That's what we should consider calling a "private" guard working for the US Embassy in Afghanistan.

They are private, because they are not ashamed to show their private parts.

They are ferocious and fearless, because they're not afraid to shock the Taliban into retreat by showing up in the line of fire armor-free.

It's always with a great sense of fiction that I read such stories on the news. That can't be real...???

We are daily bombarded with news and opinions about the lack of progress in Afghanistan 8 years after the US, with the help of NATO, kicked the Taliban out of the country.

Hundreds of European and American soldiers get killed there, the Taliban are coming back from Pakistan to reclaim territory and sabotage all progress achieved so far and things are just not working well or as well as we would like them to.

As I follow the news in that part of the world I am always left wondering. Why? Why can't we succeed there? We are throwing military and economic resources in that country, yet we seem to be the ones into retreat 8 years after we supposedly Talibanned the place.

Something just doesn't feel right.

Then I read this news and that something which didn't feel right becomes clear.

"Allegations surfaced last week that contractor ArmorGroup North America allowed mistreatment, sexual activity and intimidation within the ranks of private guards hired to protect the embassy in Kabul. The company and U.S. officials are investigating."

"We've immediately taken several actions," said Ambassador Karl Eikenberry. "First of all, 13 of the employees of ArmorGroup have been terminated from their contracts. That's a combination of some management and any of the individuals that were involved in this very disgusting behavior that occurred."

Two things amaze me in this story. The fact that "management" is involved is the first. The second is the use of the word "disgusting" to describe how WE feel about it.

If it is "disgusting" to us in the West who are supposed to be a little more tolerant of parties, booze, boobs and gays, how are the locals supposed to feel about it?

The irony is that this has nothing to do with the Koran or Islam and the locals' morals, their tolerance or lack of it to things Western. This is us calling ourselves disgusted and us firing the people who we hire to guard us from the people we feel disgust for their hate of us and who we force to change with overwhelmingly superior force which also doesn't seem to bring the results we want.

First it was Abu Ghraib in Iraq. A few years later, Obama wants Guantanamo closed as well. One would expect that "management" of the private guards in the US embassy in Kabul would know by now that this is not the kind of behavior to permit under any circumstances whatsoever anywhere in the world, least of all in fucking Afghanistan.

Unless they really believe that place has been totally fucked up and the hopes for a better outcome there are a pie in the sky, it just doesn't make sense that these incidents still keep happening with the "disgusting" patterned frequency they are happening.

It is one thing when one private soldier does something indecent and a different thing altogether when 13 people, including management are fired for "disgusting" behavior in Afghanistan.

This is a US embassy spokesman referring to the incident NOT using diplomatic language. The most diplomatic of all institutions representing the US government is using emotional language to describe the way WE feel about the way the people we hire to do things we don't want them to do.

This is very unusual and sick. We seem to be at a loss as these incidents are popping up like dots in a pattern we can't seem to be able to put an end to or at least bring under control.

Sure. We fired all 13 of them. But that's only after the news came out and was impossible to cover up. For all we know, orgies are addictive and whoever claims they only took part once or they had to take their shirts off because it was too hot dancing so close to the fire, it's like claiming they smoked the poppy but never inhaled it. Yeah, right!

How on naked earth do we expect that just by firing the privates we can still win the locals' hearts and minds and TaliBan this Fucking Poppyland?

Oh yes, silly me. Of course I should have noticed the naked truth staring at me through the fire like a Talibani imbecile.

The privates' faces in the photo are covered in black ink so they are not exposed.

YES! That's something the Taliban and the locals can appreciate.

Cover Up!

If we can start by covering up the faces, at some point, we will learn to cover up the rest of the body and private parts.

That's the kind of logic we can expect all local Afghanistanis to appreciate.

These guys should really like us. They are so wrong hating us and not welcoming us there with OpenArms, ArmsUp, UnArmed, UnArmored and Totally EnAmored!

In my private parts, I know that's the case. But I'll keep it private for now, for my private pirate code of ethics doesn't allow me to expose all my private thoughts in public.

But I don't mind if You want to!

Yours EnAmored,
JackSparrow

http://www.thinkaloo.com