Paralysis as a powerful training aid

We all know there is no such medicine you can take that will cause selective local paralysis for a limited time in your body. But if it could be invented, I think it could be a useful training aid. Neutralize for a week your left brain and train yourself to think with the right one. If you're an athlete, paralyze temporarily your right hand or leg and learn to shoot the ball or dribble with your left. Blind yourself for a week and increase your capacity to use your other senses, smell, hear, touch etc. The concept is to train by tricking your innate survival skills to come to the fore.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Rent a bike and watch a porno movie

I had to share this! You know about the rental bicycle programs, where you pay a fee and you can use any bicycle parked at various points in the city. There is usually a computer to automate the rental process. Well, a computer hacker in Zamora, Spain accessed the computer system and figured out how to play a porno movie on one of the bicycle stations. The free movie attracted a lot of visitors. Imagine this happening in a more crowded place like the giant screens in NY Times Square! Apparently the first police officer who arrived at the scene was a woman and could not stop laughing when reporting it to the others. Maybe she liked it :-)

Have you seen or heard other such stories?

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Meet Da Pirates

Finally, some 'smart' pirates over in Somalia have bought laptops and an internet connection and are reading JackSparrow on the loo! Finally, they are following JackSparrow's advice to dress better in order to make the world more sympathetic to their plight. But instead of picking Hollywood to do their PR as I advised, those fools chose the White House. They got so afraid The Bro in Da Houz would tax them, they dressed up and rushed to negotiate lower taxes on their bounty. I can almost hear this Somali pirambassador asking Obama, "Arrr...Don't tax me bro and I'll hook to the law." You never know with a pirate if he means The Law of the Sea or the Law of Pirasea but The Bro knows very well what he is up to!

Those Somali pirates are letting me down. I suggested they meet with the head of Warner Bros in Hollywood and they are meeting with The Bro in Da Houz? They think they can discuss maritime strategy with him and win him over?? Fools! BarRRAck will wench you hooks down before you can say aRrrrrrr..igato. The Bro in Da Houz is not a Bush Walker, what on earth do these Somalis think they're doing meeting The Bro in full costume, without preconditions and without my knowledge and permission??

The Bro in Da Houz is a transformative President you fools, if not a Transformer himself. He already got a dog for his daughters and a bloodhound parrot to help him regulate pirasea. You fools, he'll make you repeat after him and have you sing Arr N B like no pirate ever did. Before you know it, you'll find yourselves staging ballet shows on Broadway to highlight your plight with elegance and gay finesse. The Bro will have successfully transformed you into the entertainment trouperie of So Ma Lee.

No offense to gay people, ballet enthusiasts or parrot lovers, but for a Somali pirate, dancing ballet on the mast will be the only strategy Obama's parrot will agree to not regulate. It might be the only skill they'll ever practice trying to confuse navy seals into thinking they have the wrong ship on tarRRRget. You fools, do you have the slightest idea how good you mast learn how to dance in order to save your aRrrrrse from US navy seals who are so well trained at shooting pirates in the eye from a distance? Why do you think pirates cover their eyes with a black patch, you fools you think it's just Halloween huh...

Yarr, I will be so worried if I learn that this Somali pirambassador accepts a parrot as a gift from Obama. After the Queen got an Ipod and a hug, the minimum I will advise to accept from the Bro is The Black PeaRrrrl and the geaRrrl.

I am so worried about these Somali Pirates. Their days will soon be over after this meeting. May it be some solace to a pirate's heart that JackSparrow will still talk to them from the loo. With so much black bounty yet to be taxed, Obama asked me, in secret, to intervene. Everyone knows JackSparrow is a generous man and will not let the pirates down...yarrr yarrr, yes JackSparrow will use the bounty to train the next generation of So Ma Lee para-troupers in the Caribbean camps before he sends them to Hollywood for casting on his next big hit!

Next time I am asked to lobby The Bro in Da White House on behalf of World Wide Pirasea, I will expect a very generous retainer though. When a President has a good sense of humor, it's hard to outsmart him unless you are Da Real JackSparrow he is dealing with...

And that my fellow Somali pirates, in case you were thinking you can get away with some ballet on the mast, won't happen until you shake that booty.

JackSparrow's services are must-worthy and they will cost you more than a cheap pirate's costume and a photo opp with Obama.

You bet!

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Credit card date tip

When I got my first credit card out of college, it was a stupendously crappy one. $500 limit, secured. Couldn't be less prestigious. But it was a "titanium" card with a metallic finish, and the bank's logo was screen printed across it with cheap ink. I scraped the logo off with a coin in about 10 seconds and just had a blank, gray Mastercard. I was quite amazed at the reactions this provoked among the many people who assumed it must be something quite exclusive. It was a conversation starter and I leveraged it into a few dates.

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Good logic, Crap logic, same thing?

It is said, 'When people are short of ideas, they are full of crap'. I don't know about you, but from my experience that's generally true. We know that it's also an axiom of logic that, 'if A then B, then if not B not A'. Reasoning logically, we can thus infer that, 'When people can't crap, they are full of ideas.' And I have been constipating for 3 days now and that's the best crap I can come up with? Why doesn't logic work when it comes to crap?

http://www.thinkaloo.com

ATM sterilization service

I read about good hygiene and how necessary it is to prevent the spread of viruses, germs and the flu and I am thinking, wouldn't it be a great idea if ATMs would sterilize/disinfect the ATM card and the cash we deposit and withdraw from them? ATMs won't save mankind from the next epidemic, fine, but that's one less source of spreading worms and germs around. And cash is dirty because not Everyone knows how to launder it properly. Corrupt leaders try hard to teach but the masses refuse to learn. Not everyone can be a good money-launderer so better to sterilize the money supply :D

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Green tea Or chocolate addiction?

I love to drink green tea, every day I have two cups of powder-stirred green tea (matcha). When I told my friend who is a coffee-addict himself that I am addicted to green tea, he pointed out to me that I am not addicted to tea but to chocolate. I disagreed but I now realize that I must always have a small bite of chocolate with my tea otherwise matcha is too bitter. In Japan tea is always served with something sweet on the side. Could it be that I am not addicted to tea and addicted to chocolate instead? Is green tea a decoy to cover my chocolate addiction? I'm probably addicted to both I think. Do you have similar experience?

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How to decide what to cook

Some people might agree that the biggest problem with cooking is not cooking itself but deciding what to cook. One way to help yourself decide is to make menus, put them in a basket and each day pull out one. It's a clever way to trick yourself into making a choice instead of trying to figure out what your choices are before you can decide.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Hand applicator pads

Bored cleaning up my dad's Camry's paint last Sunday, I was wondering why there are no hand applicator pads made from the same stuff as foam pads for machine use? Seems to me a cutting applicator pad, a polishing, a finishing, etc. would sell like hotcakes. Oops, I may have just given away my only million dollar idea? I'm guessing they're not made because it's easier to induce marring by hand and harder to get it out by hand? I think it's a good idea anyway!

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Smoking Elephant

I stumbled upon this sign at a restaurant in Tokyo. First I wondered what it might mean. No smoking, sneezing and drinking elephants allowed in the restaurant? No blowing cylindrical items in here? Imaginative and cute for a "No Smoking" sign you will probably only see in Japan.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Embarrassing noises in public restrooms

Everyone knows of the embarrassment of which I speak. You have gingerly walked into a public restroom with an uncontrollable urge to liberate that which can no longer be left in bondage. You take your place among the many seats which are given, however, just as you are about to give in, an innocent bystander walks in. He himself feeling the same urges for liberation unknowingly takes a seat within a distance that both of you are uncomfortable with. Now the pain of silence sets in, who is first to fire? Solution:

Although some public restrooms attempt to get around this problem by playing music, etc. the music which they play may drown out the noise to some degree but it is not enough to ease the situation. Therefore, I suggest a different kind of music for public restrooms...let's call it bathroom break music.

Imagine a recording of all the great noises that come from bathrooms played over the loud speaker--the beautiful harmony of flatulence, urine and defecation pouring forth. The users are suddenly at ease, no longer can they distinguish their own noises from that of the music.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

How about changing the sequence of calling the months?

I often wonder why we don't re-arrange the regular Jan-Dec sequence of calling the months to synchronize seasons across continents. For instance, why can't December be experienced as a cold winter month in Australia, like it is in London or New York. If you live in Australia or some place else in the Southern hemisphere, when it's winter in Europe it's the opposite in Australia (summer). But if we just change the sequence of calling the months, December would move to what is now June and be as cold and winter in Australia in December as it is in London or New York! :)

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Questioning our social habits

I've often wondered why our thought process is backwards in the ways we celebrate funerals and weddings. You would think that monetary gifts would be given in times of death when it's needed more since the income of a family has decreased. Instead, however, we give monetary gifts in times of marriage even though the family's income has increased.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Negative Space business

Do you think it's total fantasy to start a business selling the negative space of objects rather than the objects themselves? Negative space can be anything, for example the hole in the middle of a doughnut. The business will not sell the doughnut, only the hole. If the business is online and negative space cheap to buy there is good chance people will buy. Art collectors pay lots of money to buy, among other things, some of the most imaginatively abstract paintings that can exist. After all, what can be more abstract than negative space itself? :)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Make regular shoes fit for ice walk

I need little spikes to come out of my shoes when I walk over ice. I don't want to be wearing big boots or add crampons, just my regular shoes. Crampons do the job but don't match my clothes or fit into my high heels. Is it too much to ask for style and ice functionality in a regular shoe?

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Can you help me hide the last Snickers?

I want the last miniature Snickers for myself and I don't want to eat it just yet. I want to wait until the house is empty and there's no chance of someone coming in and getting a whiff of fresh roasted peanuts when I speak. So I took out the light bulb and replaced it with the miniature Snickers. I'm hoping the darkness can help my cause. Can't think of a better place at the moment. Where would you hide it?

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Smart undies

I'm all in favor of smart underwear for both men and women that play messages depending on what you do with them. For example, if the girl is too early in removing it she can be told "Missile not ready for launch yet" or when the guy removes hers "Put on a condom NOW!"

Of course, with the rise of artificial intelligence there is no need to stop with simple messages. Once the ice is broken one's underpants can become a good friend giving advice on the latest theater productions, advising on political choices, tackle bedsores, warning when one's children need looking after and, of course, comforting one in time of trial and stress. When the underpants become aware of the web, it can participate in all sorts of networking since, on the net, no-one knows you are a pair of underpants :-)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

post your blood group info on your profile

it be a good idea to have blood group information on social networking sites, people post all sorts of personal/career info, friends of friends can contact you and ask you if you would be willing to donate blood for a friend, you never know when you will be in an emergency. searching via friend networks across many different social networking sites can help find people with the right blood type you need.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Online TV summary for busy people

There are so many shows I would love to watch but I don't have the time anymore. I would like to see an online service that would give me 30 minute or 1 hour video summaries of all my favorite shows and TV programs (national and cable), from comedy shows to reality to interviews and news. That would be a service I wouldn't mind paying a monthly fee for. Anyone interested in starting it?

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Wash-lock restroom logic

Invent a system that would not unlock single restroom doors for employees working in restaurants until water has been run and soap dispensed. This innovation might prove more effective than those 'please wash your hands before returning to work' signs. Sure people could work around the system but it would take just as much time and wouldn't be worth the effort.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Dinner at home or home-made dinner?

When you invite someone at your place for dinner would you ever consider passing out (some) take-away food or home-delivery recipes as your own cooking? If most dishes are yours, what's wrong with passing one or two you didn't have time to make as yours? I see nothing wrong with ordering extras and mixing it with home-made dinner. My question is would you tell your guest or pass it as yours?

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What's your view on suicide?

In the movie 7 Pounds Will Smith feels responsible for causing a car accident that cost 7 people their lives. He decides to put an end to his life but not before he chooses 7 people to donate his organs to and save their lives. If you take your life away in order to give life to another person isn't it an act of sacrifice similar to Jesus' crucifiction to save mankind from its sins? Why is the right to end one's life only God's privilege and a sin when humans do it? Shouldn't suicide in order to save other people's lives considered a deeply religious act precisely because it's an act of sacrifice?

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Cut the change

You dig the depths of your pocket for a quarter or a dime but all you come up with is $1 and $5 notes, sorry no change. Sometimes it would have been so much easier if the notes were perforated so that we could strip across the dotted lines and come up with the change. If a whole note is legal tender why can't its parts be legal tender as well? :P

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Wear your panties

A teenage girl comes to school for the yearbook photo shoot wearing a skirt but wears no panties. She sits in the front row and doesn't cross her legs. The yearbook gets published and distributed to school families. The girl's Sharon Stone basic instinct is fully displayed on the photo and her parents are embarrassed. They demand the school recalls and destroys the books and reprints them. Who's to take the blame and pay for the reprint costs? The family? The photographer? The school?

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How the gov can help with student debt repayment

Not all graduates whose education costs $30,000 or more a year will land high-paying jobs and fully repay the student loans fast and get out of debt. I see two ways of creating a system of debt-free graduates. The government fully repays the loan upon graduation if the starting salary is below a certain range and adjusts income tax a little higher for the individual in that income bracket. Or the government doesn't repay the loan but doesn't collect taxes either until the loan is fully repaid.

http://www.thinkaloo.com