whose fart was it?

for a laugh, when someone farts, oxygen masks get released. very appropriate for car, bus, train and elevator situations and for all public places. here's the funny little twist that turns the prank into an act of brilliance... everyone gets an oxygen mask except for the person who farted! (lol)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

W.C. Feng Shui

Public toilets in most places are crap but there's an easy way to make some things in them more functional. You will receive the opposite of your iQ, a positive Qi as they call it in Feng Sui, if you place toilet paper in the door handle right in front of you rather than have it on the side or in the back. If Feng Shui is about arranging objects to help people achieve their goals, this is a master arrangement. Just make sure there's enough space between the door and the handle so that the toilet paper rolls smoothly. It's also handy if someone calls you and you need to take notes in a piece of paper :D

For better results also practice these ancient words of wisdom. Speak them loud as the crap sinks below.

Ba Zhai Crap Wu Xing Shit Baqua Flash Zuan Kong Fei Sink King Kong

These proven words will guarantee you more crap, better toilet paper use and they'll make your experience in the shit hole a mystery to others!

http://www.thinkaloo.com

act-dead to survive the death-act

from what i read on the news and saw on tv terrorists in mumbai would roam the building and kill people. if you try to run away you certainly make yourself a target and if you rather sit doing nothing then you probably have better chances if you pretend you're dead. do you think acting dead could help you survive a terrorist hostage situation like the one that happened in india? it's possible.

lie down among other people's dead bodies, cover yourself with blood in the face and hands, take very very small breaths and stay still. that requires training. acting schools could offer that. the act-dead kit will basically have capsules to simulate blood stains and shot wounds.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Molotov Cocktail

I am in a bar in Athens. Freezing cold outside I want to have a hot drink to warm me up. Demonstrators wreak havoc on the streets keeping themselves busy burning the whole place down. The rage is so out of control because police killed an innocent 16 year old. I am wondering. If I order my favorite Molotov cocktail, will it be served on a tray from the people working in the bar inside or delivered on a head throw from the demonstrators outside? Probably both.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Tear gas for self-defence

Big riots in Greece so out of control are rare but I've seen them happen in other countries too (US, France). My experience in Greece is that shop owners are completely defenseless, the Greek police cannot protect the streets or the shops. I remember when Bill Clinton visited Athens and the city was burnt down. He cut his trip short and went for a 'safe' trip in Turkey next door. As a better alternative to guns or hiring snipers from abroad, shop owners in Greece should arm themselves with tear gas and use it to protect their property. It takes 1 hothead shop owner to start shooting at protesters destroying his property or threatening his life. If caught he can claim self-defense.

But with no police around and fire and smoke all over no one will see him or his sniper firing. This is the scenario of all hell breaking loose with many dead people. If the police can't protect, tear gas is better self-defense to guns.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Does your new house have a ghost?

Do you want your new house to have a ghost? We like friendly ghosts so me and my friends were thinking of a different new kind of business that will certify if a house is ghost-free or not. Not all ghosts are scary and there some can be pet-ghosts and play with the kids. If a house has ghosts and the new owner doesn't want them our business will clear the house for them or transfer the ghost to the house of another owner who wants them. The business will also be online and allow people to upload photos and descriptions of their ghosts and exchange them

http://www.thinkaloo.com

finanGle

finanGle is a tool of the trade, a favorite practice of casanovas everywhere. in the pussy-whipped world we now seem to live there aren't many of us around any more. the word cums from merging the words 'fine' n 'angle'. an original casanova doesn't just finagle his way inside the coochie, he makes sure he uses the right angle to hit her G-spot within seconds of his first thrust! it takes him a lot of hard practice to master finanGle. only after years and years of training can he produce female orgasm at first slide. thereafter the casanova gets to practice his science as more of an art. he becomes an angles' mechanic. call his art the art of finangGling. he practices it with zeal and passion. ask your girlfriend about it. if she knows what finanGle means, she's been with a true casanova before. more lessons to cum :)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Same and eternal...

Do you ever think that life after death may be the eternal replay of the life we live in this life? Is that the fundamental essence of life?

To live it in the most fulfilling and happy way we can because if we don't we'll end up living the same unhappy life over and over again? Is that the meaning of life? or...death??

Is it really possible to take control of one's life and make it "happy" ?

Doesn't anyone have a problem with the idea of a life after death being the exact same repeat of life before death?

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Unlimited taxi rides for flat monthly fee

The customer that gets in the taxi will show or swipe his/her card. The taxi companies can only operate fuel-efficient and environment-friendly cars and in return they will pay less taxes and be allowed to charge customers flat monthly fees. Fuel-efficiency will also be necessary in order to turn a profit as demand for the service will be high. With unlimited rides, people will tend to use taxis more.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Matching socks detector

Sometimes people like me will grab any pair of socks to wear even if they are of different color. I wish my socks had some kind of tiny wireless beeping device on them that would beep every time I didn't wear a matching pair. It's function can be simple. Every time a sock's matching pair is not within a distance of one meter it would beep. This way it would also help me not to lose socks.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Edible bottle caps

How about wine/champagne/liqueur bottle caps that are edible? Make them with thick chocolate or other flavor/recipe that goes with the drink and cover them with thin hygienic film to keep them safe for eating. Tear the film, grab a bite to open up the bottle and sip your drink!

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Watch the clock

Why will people pay so much money to own or see the painting but not wear it? The world is fascinated with the painting but won't turn the melting clock design into a melting watch for people to wear on their wrist :((

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Mr. Brown. Save the world..

..make it a better place, for me and for you and the entire UK race. Al Gore invented the Internet and Gordon Brown saved the world. When you are perceived as an intelligent politician, the few rare gaffes you'll do will stick and characterize you and people will always remember them. Whereas if you're perceived as dumb or gaffe-prone no one remembers what you actually said because you've said so many dumb things. People are used to it and might not even pay attention any more. They remember you as dumb or gaffe-prone but have hard time to come up with even a single one dumb thing you said. But if you're intelligent, the gaffe dynamic is so very different and much more cruel, even if it's a slip of the tongue that gets corrected immediately. If you haven't seen it already, take a look and see for yourself...

http://www.thinkaloo.com

The Realist school of acting :)

He slashed himself with a knife for real on stage. The audience loved it and applauded him. Actor and audience performance? Touche. Before you know someone will go ask him for a signed autograph spilled with his blood and auction it on eBay. Touche Memorial. With the move of a knife he just pioneered a) the realist school of acting b) the fast road to acting fame c) the too sick for sick leave guild d) the no volunteers to replace the lunatic, please! e) a knife-sharp increase in actors' life insurance premiums and f) a critics debate as to whether the play falls under genres 'Live Horror' or 'Noh Harakiri'. He also succeeded in keeping a theater fully booked by staying alive inspiring the next season's blockbuster play titled "We'll let him die this time...satisfaction guaranteed or his throat back". Touche Grand! Granted!!

http://www.thinkaloo.com

The threesome solution...

Don't women often complain that men like to fall asleep after sex and that they are insensitive because they don't like to talk? Women usually complain about it in casual conversation using what else lots of irony. So it occurred to me that a threesome with 2 women is a great solution for everyone. The guy can fall asleep and the girls can talk to each other after sex. Everyone gets what they want. So why do women resist the idea so much? I almost get punched in the face every time I try to suggest the idea to any female openly criticizing my lack of attention to her needs after sex. Am I wrong??

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Why the China man won't spend

SunTzu said: If the enemy is weak because he overspent, don't overspend or you'll become weak too. Said it but didn't write it.

SunTzu then said and wrote: "All warfare is based on deception...If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles"

The world hopes the Chinese and the other Asians will spend the West out of recession. Ok, here is why if you read SunTzu you know this will never happen.

The Chinese know themselves. They like to save. They look at the West and they see that it overspent and is in trouble. What's the lesson they get?

Stick to saving. Don't do what your rival did and got him in trouble. Just give the appearance you might in the form of big government spending plans.

How deception works. The government announces big spending plans and the world thinks the Chinese man will suddenly start spending. But the Chinese man will not do that because he knows it will get him into same trouble as the Western man.

He remembers Sun Tzu and decides to save a big portion of the money in order to buy the enemy later and win the battle without a fight.

Sun Tzu said: He who hearkens to my counsel and acts upon it, will conquer.

Time to read Sun Tzu from the Chinese man's point of view!

http://www.thinkaloo.com

The most Delectable Female Chocolate Mousse!!

Are you infatuated with your new girlfriend? Is she sexy hot dark skin and loves to eat chocolate? Is she in your mind all the time? Does it feel you will never have enough of her, ever? Is she a source of great inspiration in your daily life? Tell her what you think of her. Tell her that she is so much more than just an ordinary muse for you, tell her that because of her being so yummy and delicious you think of her as your 'most delectable female chocolate mousse' you ever had. She'll love the compliment. In a moment of inspiration, I told that to my girlfriend this morning and it aroused never-ending blissful desires. The chocolate is still dripping off me waiting to be lickspired...:)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Sextortion

Be careful where you sleep and who you sleep with. I heard some prostitutes are part of money extortion gangs. The prostitutes join match-making sites and pose as single girls but then have their gang members take photos of you and her or if you make the mistake and take video or photos with the new girl you met they will use those too.

It's then easy for them to find out about your life and contact details and they are one email away from blackmailing your wife. They target married men.

It works easy for them because they can blackmail anonymously and emails don't cost them anything. The prostitutes keep making good money too and only have to sleep once or twice with you. Sometimes the gangs just compile a database of cheaters and sell it to other gangs to work on them. So even if you thought you paid and you're safe you might get blackmailed from others.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

How online cheating sites make extra money

Many people who join cheating sites use them anonymously to find sex partners but could end up emailing their wife or girlfriend. You never know who's on the other side and if you send your photo first you could be caught! So when you are about to make your credit card payment to join, the website can ask you if you want to run a background check on the site and see if your girlfriend or wife is already there so that you can avoid bumping into her. If not, you set up an alert and the service will notify you if she joins in the future. Of course they will charge you a bit extra for it.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Where would it be more appropriate?

That's a catchy idea but the picture shows a man's hand. I think this soap dispenser would be better in a woman's bathroom. What do you think?

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Mad Off Mad Dog...

I take one big life lesson from this. If the rich and famous can be so easily fooled into a $50 billion Ponzi scheme, then I am so much better off managing my money by myself even if I end up losing it. Between the anger and frustration that arises from someone else, a so-called expert or professional, losing My money and the sadness of having lost it Myself, I definitely choose the later. Between a professional and an amateur loss, I rather lose as an amateur than to a so-called professional whose being more 'professional' than I am is an illusion anyway. Fucking 50 billion dollars!! Do you know how many prisons can be built with that money to round all those jerks inside?? I am mad as a dog right now...

http://www.thinkaloo.com

To 'Mad Off"

A new term similar to Fuck Off used when someone asks you for a cum of money with more than 8 zeros to its right to invest it for you. If you tell him to Mad Off it can mean Fuck Off or it can mean 'Shit, I'll give it to you only if you can top Madoff's $50 billion summa cum laude'. The second use is reserved for the Abramovich-inspired overchicked sheepskins who fantasize to get hold of the tycon's list of girlfriends and prison escorts. Those guys are easy to spot.

They appetize with 69 Tiger Pronz and dessert it with nitrogened Stella Natura crap at their favorite El Bully restaurant in Spain. So they hire Thantie Newton as their accountant. They claim to play Liszt with both hands on the piano showing off their boobs-grabbing skills required for when the list drops in their pants one day. You'll also see them socialize with other lesser Russian tycons in the hope to Mad it Off one day with Abramovich. They introduce themselves using the pseudonym Richard MadovV, the first denoting their wealth status and the second their disguised ambition to mad it off one day.

Now depending on how you say the term it becomes clear to the listener which one of the two uses you have picked up. If you say it with a smile and a look of surprise on your face you've picked up the second. You are challenging the guy who asked for your money to invest it in a better Ponzi scheme than Madoff did.

If the guy gives a short one-word confident reply using the verb back, it means he believes he is up to the task and the deal is sealed. If he replies with a question, it means he thinks you're asking for the impossible.

The dialogue usually plays out like this

B is confident and seals the deal

A: Mad Off!! :)
B: Madoff!

B thinks you're crazy and asks you to Fuck Off

A: Mad Off!! :)
B: Mad Off? Mad Off!!

Tycon A is not easily fooled so B who is a she and looks like Stella in Rocknrolla blows her smoke in his face and slides the list into his pants...

A: Richard MadovV
B: Stella Pronzi
A: How much for a start?
B: $50 million
A: Mad Off!!!
B: Mad Off? Mad Off!!
A: Liszt?
B: Yes please

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Shoeraq

After President Bush's apt ducking of two shoes thrown straight at him, the State of Texas announced that a shoe rack will heretofore be called a Shoeraq in memory of the incident and spelled as one word. Those hunting trips Bush took with Dick Cheney in Texas were a hell of a good training. If nothing fatal came out of dodging bullets thrown at him, they sure developed excellent reflexes in Bush. In Iraq, the government decided that the pair of shoes thrown at Bush will be auctioned and the billion dollar proceeds be sent out to GM, Ford and Chrysler as a first bailout handout so that their poor CEOs can fly back to Congress on private jets and ask for more money.

Shoe pride is now high in the Middle East which plans to advertise its shoes as the only ones that can demonstrably and reliably follow a straight throw-line to the individual in target. The boom in shoe exports soon to follow this world-class demonstration is the perfect solution to the desperate need for countries in the Middle East to diversify their oil-based economies and offer traditional new ways for young people there to express themselves.

Within minutes of the incident being reported and with the Pope's blessing, the Holy Shoe Trinity of Ferragamo, Prada and Bruno Magli announced plans to set up shoe manufacturing in Iraq. Unfortunately the shoes that were thrown at Bush were too cheap a brand to be auctioned at Christie's and fetch the trillion dollar amounts needed to bail out the US economy.

The Iraqi government announced that all journalists in Iraq will be given Italian brands to shoeraq freely against foreign dignitaries with an exception made for Carla Bruni because she still is too God-damn pretty and because she was hired to advertise the shoes in a new commercial where she and Sarkozy will be shown quarreling. At some point Carla will take off her shoes and throw them at petit Nicola who being so petit won't have to duck down to avoid the hit. The commercial will close by Carla singing "Some fights you don't wanna miss"

In a show of accord with this gracious decision to exempt Carla from Shoeraq, the Vatican requested that devil-wearing Prada design special protest-shoes with angel wings on the side for use by protesters when new priest-in-child scandals break out. This is how the new design will be used to the Church's favor. By mastering his God-intermediation powers the Pope will animate the wings attached to the shoes turning the shoe-throwing protests into a massive up-the-sky dove-release spectacle. Those protesters who refuse to use the Pope-animated Devil-wears-Prada shoes will be denied a fair hearing postmortem.

Religious-devout Iran who has tremendous spiriticopolitical influence over Iraq also announced that when a persona non grata visits Iraq from a country well-versed in the Satan, female journalists will be invited to attend the press conference. Under special fatwa from resurrect-elect Khomeini, all female journalists present will wear stiletto heels with the clear understanding that they'll use them to Shoeraq the foreign dignitary but not miss him next time.

Finally, fashion-conscious protesters in democracy-born Greece who are in the streets for a second week and bored sick of throwing rocks and Molotov bombs to the police are inspired anew by Shoeraq and vow to compete head-on with the Middle East on riot publicity. They believe Bush was actually controlled by the CIA and that's why he maneuvered so fast and dodged the shoe. Down with the CIA controlling our leaders they cry. Shoe stores in Athens are busy placing massive orders of Middle East shoes in response to the high demand from angry left-wing protesters who now want to burn down Athens shoe-style.

Don't you just love to read the news Bush makes when he travels abroad? By getting himself into the most unimaginable situations, it helps fire up people's imagination everywhere. By ducking successfully the shoe throw and letting the journalist go free for exercising his freedom of speech, Bush finally unveiled his version of how democracy will spread in the Middle East. I throw guns at you, duck it if you can. You throw shoes at me, I sure duck it well!!

I am ashamed to joke like that but compared to Bush, Obama might end up being a very boring, uneventful and yes here is my shame, less colorful US president...

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Ask her out on YouTube

Come up with a short act and upload it on YouTube, then send her the link with an email. Make sure you smile and look at your best. Ask a friend to help you if you're not sure. She will definitely appreciate it. Although the video can be private it has the feel that you are asking her out in public and women find those things too good to refuse. Everybody calls these days. So try to be creative and original. Just try it! And don't forget: disable comments on the video and don't mention her by name or use specifics, use compliments and general descriptive phrases to refer to her so you can use the same video for another girl if she turns you down. That last one is important unless you don't mind making new videos all the time :)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Domain name share-advertising

It's like renting out e-property for a while. If a site has huge traffic and recognition it can do the following to make shit loads of money. When users type the domain name to visit the site the landing page will be similar to Google's Chrome tabs, clicking on a tab will take you to that site. Example. You type famousSite.com to visit your favorite site. You land on a page with 2 screenshots, on the left is your normal site and on the right is the advertised site which will open in a new tab/window if you click on it.

The advertiser will pay top dollars for displaying his site's clickable screenshot or other image on a famous site. Actually the advertiser will buy a limited number of displays, so not all users of the famous site will get to see it. Maybe the famous site can ask some of its users to opt-in for such kind of advertising once in a while.

Imagine the instant advertising impact for a new site if it appeared side by side on Google, eBay, CNN etc landing page. If a company has a couple of millions to spend on advertising why not?

http://www.thinkaloo.com

VISA Browser

Amex, Mastercard, Discover whatever. When you get a new credit card you also get a secure internet browser to install on your computer or internet phone. Everything's highly encrypted. Whatever you come across online that accepts your credit card for payment you press the buy button on the browser and that's it. No need to enter credit card or any details. Not secure enough? Another solution. A secure url managed by the credit card company that acts as web navigator where merchants submit their sites. Customer surfs the web and makes payment instantly of any product available online.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

NeverEatAlone.com

A thought for people who feel sad and lonely when they eat alone. How about a new website where others will join during meal on a live broadcast. Everyone will be eating their meal and chat with each other if they like. It can work by appointment or without. People on a web cam and a laptop with an internet connection anywhere can join.

It'd be like having an online food buddy or a meal baby sitter join you over meal. It's also great opportunity to meet new people. Bon Appetit! Buon Appetito! Itadakimasu!

Guten Appetit! Bom apetite! Priiatnogo appetita! Kale orexe and...see you over lunch tomorrow!

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Madoff give me $1 million and I'll co-sign...

Madoff was released on a $10 million personal recognizance bond secured by his $7 million Manhattan apartment. But because he failed to secure the required number of co-signers for his bail bond home detention was required. No chance of leaving the country now for a Ponzi-friendly jurisdiction...Madoooooff if you give me $1 million I'll jump in and co-sign on that bond. It's all for the public good! I have so many debts and people to pay and I promise to spend all the remaining money on charities and the economy. I know you have internet at home and if you don't mind you can wire the amount here. No prob. Do we have a deal Madoff?? :)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Should a doctor treat a masochist patient with pain?

Medicine and technology have improved so much that it's possible to go to the dentist and if the dentist is good not feel a drop of pain, something that was not possible years ago. That kind of medical treatment, however, assumes that all patients like to avoid pain. What if a patient is a masochist? What if the patient actually prefers treatment with pain over one without? Asking this question to a patient would be the politically correct thing to do and for patients who are masochists it would mean respect and more satisfaction. If we establish the right of the masochist for a treatment with pain, does the doctor have the right to refuse such treatment to a patient who asks for it? On what grounds? The treatment will heal the patient.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

shy girls mini skirts

usually tight minis are for girls who want to show their nice legs. if the mini is very mini you are justified to think they could want to show more. i am thinking of their new panties they 'forgot' to wear on a men-happy i'm slutty day. what i'm about to describe is the fun you can have with the shy type of girls who become self-conscious about the mini after they hit the streets with it. you'll see them walking and adjusting the mini down with both their hands. if they sense a man is walking behind, they get more anxious and obvious in adjusting the skirt which will make you fix your stare at them even more.

what self-conscious girls don't realize of course is that there is nothing they can do to adjust the skirt that will make any difference in terms of how they appear to the man behind who's getting a perve up the maker's mark.

even if they stick a small pin to their stockings or a gum inside the thighs to help pin the skirt to a fixed level of perve, self-conscious girls would still be seen handjusting the mini in a futile attempt to batten down the hatches. it's obvious the problem is not with the size of the mini but with the size of an obsessed female brain!

the moment of dread comes when stairs appear, all of a sudden. it's like gandalf magic. blow the whistle and a white horse or flying eagle appears. unfortunately there's no magic for her. the plain truth is she's been preoccupied fixing the skirt setting her vision to the ground long enough to miss the elephant ahead.

a self-conscious girl will then make an awkward and immediate stop to pick up the phone and pretend she's talking to her girlfriend. essentially she's checking to see if anyone is behind before she makes an attempt to mordor up the stairs.

if you're following from behind, the best thing you can do at that moment is to let something yours drop on the floor and kneel down to pick it up. shy for shyster. as you make your move to stand up keep looking into her legs and apologize for the unruly behavior of your pen which keeps dropping off your pants whenever you go up the stairs.

the self-conscious girl will probably muster all her energy to try to not show how uncomfortable or embarrassed she is. if she had her way, she would be rushing to a changing room to put some pants on.

to drive her to the edge of embarrassment and into the path of no return, don't let her wait for you to get out of her sight by just going up the stairs. act surprised and say "oh this pen's not mine, it must be yours, here" and give it to her with a shy and unpretentious smile.

the mini will find its way to oxfam the following day and the self-conscious mini girl switch to maxo for the rest of her life! if she has nice legs though, be a gentleman and don't do any of that, let her stay mini (each i pronounced eye for an eye respectively) and save your pen too :)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Nuclear missile graffiti

Should a nuclear missile have drawings on it and if yes should the themes be happy and peaceful or sad and catastrophic? Who do you think is in charge of nuclear offence design, men women or gay people? Should the design be more explicit? How can we explain the phallic shape of nuclear missiles? Is it the work of a ribald female mind or that of a lecherous gay mind? Or simply the work of the narcissist male brain?

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Crisis? What crisis?

Of course we have a crisis, people lose jobs, companies go bankrupt and all explained on the basis of greed, lack of regulation and wall street walking on clouds. Some people argue that the good times was just an illusion. Well, if the economic growth, wealth creation and the excess profits of the last few years were an illusion, shouldn't then an illusion's fall and demise also be an illusion? That's the only logical conclusion you can make if you accept the premise of the illusion.

So it wasn't an illusion and we have a real crisis which means we did have real growth and wealth creation. Is it simply changing hands now in which case the crisis is a process of wealth reallocation and ensuing disruption? Or is wealth actually destroyed at a level below the one that existed before excess growth building began?

Physical wealth in the US, Europe and Asia is not being destroyed. We are not experiencing a World War. With the exception of oil depleting and a climate changing, bridges, roads and buildings are still in place. So the major destruction is mainly happening to the intangibles. That's why prices fluctuate like crazy.

Isn't the creation of intangibles, however, infinite? If you look at history and also believe in human nature then you must accept its ability to create new intellectual words out of old ones.

I am optimistic. To those who argue previous wealth creation and economic growth was just borrowed time and an illusion, I rest my case.

Crisis? What crisis? It's just an illusion!

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Toilet paper money

It's been suggested before only as a joke, now let me reiterate it as a half-joke. If printing money is the answer to massive debts and global deflation could we ask that central banks print money on toilet paper so that it's rendered useful if zimbabwe-style inflation sets in? If the quality of paper is smooth and rectum-friendly we won't need foreign exchange markets either. We can just barter, trade, swap, insure or invest in each country's toilet paper comparative advantage. And unlike forex markets, almost every single person in the world uses toilet paper. We're talking of a potential 7-billion-people-essentially-single-currency economy here. Keep it in mind please!

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Protest virus or tear gas addiction?

Riots in Greece are still going on and violent student protests are fast spreading to France. Why? Could it be that tear gas is addictive? Painful at the start but pleasurable in the fast run required in protests? Is it time to pause social analysis on the issue and conduct chemicals research or should we wait until we see police using tear gas without their masks on? Or are the protests a live chemicals research experiment by the government? What?? Shouldn't I say that in public? :)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

resume tips

start with your boobs kelly. no one will hire you in this condition. you also printed the resume on the wrong side. in your condition, the cover letter should have gone in the front and the resume in the back. now it attracts too much attention to your weak points as a candidate. although it seems you also need some bum fixing too. a quick way to lessen the damage in the front is to wear the t-shirt back to front. follow my advice if you don't want to blow your job chances away

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Condoms for pubic hair lice protection

The topic can be somewhat embarrassing. Did you know that pubic lice is a sexually transmitted disease? When pubic hair comes into contact during sex, lice (also called crabs) can jump to your partner. It's not as serious as other STDs of course.

Usual condoms don't cover men's genital hair so there is a potential market for pubic hair condoms for std-conscious people as well as everyone else who is into novelty. The easy way to apply the condom if pubic hair is long and frizzy is to wet the hair with water first, tie it together with a small hair band and then apply a small size latex condom on top.

To make sure the condom doesn't slip, I suggest a small rubber band comes with it to be used around the condom to clap the hair and the condom tight.

Then there can be all sort of variations. For example, pubic hair rasta style will have thick-specific latex condoms you can buy so you can skip wetting the hair. Since most men don't shave, I can see pubic-hair styling added as a new service in men's hair salons. What can start as a hygiene novelty could turn into a fad and create new services and markets in the process!

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Do you believe God exists?

I'm an agnostic when it comes to my atheist beliefs which means I don't believe God exists because I'm skeptical that it's possible for me to believe otherwise. The good thing is that I can be an atheist without being an agnostic in general, just skeptical and noncommittal only when it comes to my ability to believe that God exists. Because I believe what I believe in a situation where say I'm stuck in Hell with someone who's visiting from Heaven, I can honestly tell them 'Go to Hell' and mean it. If I believed God existed, I could only say 'Go back to Heaven' but I wouldn't be honest with myself as my true feelings would be 'Stay in Hell'. That's the trap people in Hell will fall into if they believe it's possible for Heaven to exist but not me.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

The audience's thoughts

An experimental idea for a theater play. The audience sits on stage and the actors are scattered sitting in the audience seats. The spotlight shines on the actors who perform the play about an audience's thoughts during a play, talking out loud, reciting or discussing them with the person sitting next to them. The real audience is on stage and watches what is going in the minds of that imaginary audience which could be them. It be interesting to record the real audience on video and study their reactions. Are they different, perhaps more engaging and forthcoming? Does sitting on stage, the space where actors usually perform, have an effect on audience behavior?

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Fired? Your debt is cancelled

What about canceling all debts (credit card, mortgage etc) of any person who loses their job in this economy? Make it law and make it applicable for all people who lost their jobs since September of this year and keep the measure until the recession is officially announced over. Pink slip for debt cancellation. Instead of bailing out companies and banks who may not survive anyway as millions of people lose their jobs, use the money to bring real relief to the people who need it the most.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Chapter 11nd

When it's the government, the lender of last resort, bailing out a big company without asking it to file for Chapter 11 first and re-organize, isn't that the same as putting a patient who has no chance to recover on life support? Direct government bailout of banks and car companies in the US is the equivalent of asking them to file for chapter elevEnd instead. It means the patient stays alive so long as someone doesn't pull the plug. Chapter 11nd means that since no one has the moral right to pull the plug, everyone is praying for a power cut whereby life support goes off and the patient downgrades to Chapter 7nd...

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Bar Broadcast

When I'm in a bar and the DJ plays new music I hear for the first time it be nice to somehow know what song it is so I can look it up later. Since most DJs use laptops these days, they could be broadcasting song info using bluetooth and the people in the bar can instantly receive and save the information in their mobile phones.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Investment Banging and Gambling

If you want more bang for your buck gamble it up. The practice is legit, made off first in the US banging and gambling industry which is going down the pipes of disrepute faster than you can say myth or spin. Or faster than even Madoff's wife can get a divorce from him. What else is left to make off? If someone works for the government that person is considered to be a civil servant. Why not call all remaining bankers whose banks were bailed out by the government civil servants too? The irony with civil servant bankers and traders is that their new job status wasn't made up but made off from sitting on a ticking bomb!

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Is this fashion??

I don't know maybe it's just me. I saw this shop front in a supposedly upscale lingerie shop. What's the zipper on the face supposed to be? I'm curious to know if people who are into kinky stuff really think this is actually kinky or plain silly. To me it's totally tasteless and in total opposition to the rest of the lingerie they sell in the shop. Whoever put it on display in the front and got paid for it must have been high on drugs or something that day. If not him, then whoever paid him.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

3D Pool

Use video projectors on the walls and floor of a pool to turn it into any kind of 3D landscape you want. It will allow you to take a swim anywhere in the world you want or if you like video games you can program it to simulate real-life sea-swim. If you are a tough guy and want to increase your speed to Michael Phelps levels you can put a special close-up version of Jaws and Crocodiles on. The next Olympic medal will soon be yours to claim :)

http://www.thinkaloo.com