Saturday, April 25, 2009

Could it be that Sgarbi's sex was Not worth $60 million?

That's possible, right? If his performance was good enough to earn him $12.5 million, why not 60? But maybe he wasn't That good and had hard time getting an FDS (Fuck Default Swap). A $60 million fuck is a Big Fuck to insure you know. I think we should keep an open mind and accept that this exact same thought might have also crossed Susanne Klatten's body and mind before she reported him to the police. I thus propose a Gigolo training and evaluation center whereby all aspiring Gigolos can get tested to learn their true worth before they make unrealistic demands and end up in jail. The difficulty will be stuffing the center, a lot of female volunteers will be needed. Any women NOT willing to sign up for this? Please make your wish known here :))

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Who fooled who here?

If Susanne Klatten is worth $13.2 billion, shouldn't Sgarbi have asked for at least $1 billion? That's about 10% when the tip at a restaurant in the US is normally between 15-20%. With the global economic crisis in full swing, I'd say $2-$3 billion would have been the right amount. The $60 million seemed suspiciously low and probably that's why the short-cut heiress reported him to the police. Something wasn't making sense. $60 million? Come on people get serious, this is a Real economic crisis to be blackmailing at the low end!! What kind of example do we set for our children, the Somali pirates and others here? Seriously now don't You think...

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Gigolo Millionaire

Having grown up in the Swiss slums a married man will do anything to escape the harshness of his life. Married with three children he leaves his family to work as special representative in crisis zones in India. When all the poverty and dirt of Mumbai won't be enough to bring him redemption, Sgarbi will seek love. Pure, romantic, untainted love. His fortunes change when he meets Susanne Klatten, a generous $13.2 billion sexless blonde who falls victim to Sgarbi's most innocent instincts and his new passion for photography. Be sure to see this $60 million epic film production directed by life itself. Critics say it'll definitely change your views on the cost of love, romance and amateur photography. Coming soon to a theater near You! :)

PS: All proceeds go to the BMW Special Trust Fund for the Redevelopment of Swiss slums. Let no kid go through what Sgarbi had to go through...

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Does the Truth Syrup exist? What's the Truth?

Here's my worldview on this. I don't think it does because it would have driven Hollywood out of business. Imagine a world of action movies where there is no torture, no violence and no pain during interrogation. Can you imagine Kiefer Sutherland in 24 dressed in a kitchen apron preparing truth-syrup psychoactive cookies to be served with tea and coffee at CTU? It takes all the fun away.

The truth about a pain-free maple-sweet truth syrup is that it doesn't exist because it would lead to a wonderful world in real life and to a very boring one in the movies. To tell you the truth, the only syrup that exists is the Fake Syrup which forces honest people to lie all the time. It's real, fun and tastes better. I just had some this morning and as you can still read I have been enjoying my(honest)self lying around :)

So what's the truth about the syrup then? The best we can have so far is Lie To Me scientists that can get to the truth by detecting when you lie. No cookies, no syrup but no telling the truth either. Just a Tim Roth wireless lie detector that requires no torture, no violence and no physical pain during interrogation. Is that change we can believe in?

When I take a look at what's happening with the state of the world right now I find it hard to believe we can clean our mess without pain, violence or torture. It's not that I can't believe in the power of the truth syrup, it's just that when I do it's always after I had a few sips of the fake one. Wanna have some? :))

http://www.thinkaloo.com

How to keep the unemployed busy

Obama is talking of a new Green Economy and governments all over the world spend billions of dollars to spur economic growth. What if all unemployed people were immediately hired to work part-time to clean up the environment? Restore polluted sites, clean up beaches and cities from litter, install renewable energy infrastructure.

They would be paid for their work on top of the unemployment benefit and use their spare time to look for another job. It's better than no work at all and the government can hire them right away.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Waterboarded 183 times? My Guinness!

What a colossal admission of failure for torture efficiency no matter how you look at it. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed was waterboarded 183 times in a month? No, that's not inefficient. No, it's not a miracle that this guy survived to confess whatever he confessed at the end. No, it doesn't matter that the Central Inefficiency Agency discredits torture intelligence. 1-8-3 times?? Give Me a break!

I'm curious what else the recently declassified memos say. Did it ever occur to anyone that the subject might die before confessing anything? Could that be the reason why millions of uninsured Americans allege that prisoners in Guantanamo received better medical treatment in a month than they do in a lifetime? Since the allegation is not true as the terrorists captured do not number millions and the uninsured don't get treatment anyway, did we really need the CIA to give us reasons to believe it could be?

Ok, maybe after count 68 the torture was repeated to extract pleasure or revenge. 183-68=115 times, excluding 69 for a kit-kat that leaves us at 114 times that waterboarding could have been repeated for sadistic reasons. The US doesn't torture people. So true. That's because it likes to torture people??

Whichever way you look at it, 183 times in a month just waterboarding is sick and irrational. Dick Cheney argues that it was justified because valuable information was received. Waterboard me once and I'll buy that...But for all we know, Osama Bin Laden is still alive and not captured and the Taliban seem poised to take over Pakistan! Waterboard me twice...hello?

Fortunately, Obama felt compelled to explicitly ban the practice. Europeans can now, once again, contemplate the US in personal pronoun terms, even though we may never be able to pronounce it that way.

I am looking at the photos of the guy before and after water-boarding. He doesn't look at his best before the interrogation but look at the photo of him that gets published in the media after the interrogation. He's a sketch!

If Obama felt compelled to publish the secret memo showing how number-irrational the CIA was, then it makes sense why he had to ban torture altogether. Think of all the aspiring die-hard terrorists around the world receiving the news that it took the 9/11 mastermind 183 times of waterboarding to break him.

As if Osama-Bin-Laden was not enough of a hero icon to the die-hard Muslims now they get a true martyr to look up to. All it takes is one clever mullah to promise 1 extra virgin in heaven every time waterboarding doesn't break the martyr. 72 virgins in heaven for attempting to blow yourself up plus 183 if you martyr it out like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed did, that's 255 virgins, a nice big royal harem in heaven!!

Obama had no choice but to ban the practice otherwise thousands more would rush to sign up to break the record.

Honestly, I wish Obama had banned the practice without revealing the details. It makes the CIA look weak and unintelligent, it makes this guy appear as a martyr and it makes me sick to think that the practice was not legally considered torture at the time and now it is. But none of that upsets me more than the fact that it's not President McCain publishing the memos and discrediting the Republican Dick.

For all we know, Obama might have published the details because he might have been personally disgusted by it. For all we don't know, is that 183 is the official number...

What a Sick Dick, Cheney!

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Single Currency

I have wondered many times what the meaning of the existence of multiple currencies? I think a single currency could have a lot of benefits like reducing the cost of economic transactions and making the pricing of good and services more effective. Also, it would end the currency speculation and the effects of it and would boost the economic activity among various countries.

71% of respondents in the poll would like to have a single currency.

I would like to have a single language before I had a single currency. The benefits to the world economy would be even larger than if you only had a single currency. More trade, more travel, more understanding, more cooperation. So if I had to choose between a single currency and a single language, I'd rather have a single language. A single language would inevitably lead to a single currency as the world would become one in terms of how people think. A single currency without a single language means the world can trade better than if it had multiple currencies but it doesn't become one. So what I want to say is that under a single currency the world improves, under a single language the world becomes one. Within this context, which would You rather have?

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Better Looking Women

I thought a poll of this kind will be very useful to all men and women! French women are like men..short hair and not at all sexy..Italian are fashion victims and have ugly faces, also a lot of hair everywhere!.. Brazilians must go on a diet and Turkish have too dark skin..Spanish are ok but a kind of hysterical personalities! So we are left with Greek women...they have it all! and they are not slut just 2 sexy compared to everybody! haha.

Turkish women don't only have very very nice dark skin, they are also better at sex than Greek women and they will go ALL the way to please the man, worship him like Allah!!! Greek women are Very hairy and Think they are better at sex. I vote for Turkish women even though I am Greek.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

XXX This Is Perverted. Not for minors XXX

Make adult toys that can be hooked to the PC or receive instructions/directions via bluetooth. The whole purpose would be to allow interactive sex with someone online. Let them pass on the instructions to the toys as they watch you or you watch them on web camera. I believe it's a good idea that Can be commercialized! :)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Stationary products for nervous people

How about a paperclip that you can give it all sorts of shapes while on the phone but reverts back to its original shape and use after you finish playing with it? The concept is to create stationary products for people who are stressed and nervous and allow them to release their emotions without destroying them. What material could they be made off I wonder. Nano carbons?

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Smarter hybrid cars

The hybrid cars that are currently on the market recover some of the kinetic energy of the car when the car brakes which makes the car about 15% more efficient, but you still end up wasting energy. Why not use solar energy which is free? Place solar cells on the roof and every other surface of the car and get an extra 15% for free. Why car companies haven't done this already?

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Does starting a new bank make sense?

My reasoning for starting a new bank is that creditworthy customers would rather trust that their money is held with a bank that is 100% free of toxic assets and that it won't go bust. People tell me I must be crazy to want to start a new bank because a) no one trusts banks any more and b) no one has money any more. I don't think b is true and a happens because existing banks have a lot of bad loans/investments in their books. A new bank that has none of it can earn the trust of creditworthy customers. It seems good business to me to want to start a new bank despite the turmoil in global finance.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Obama Sushi

Eating Obama for Sushi. The concept would have sold well in Europe and the Middle east under the Bush presidency. Sushi is easy to eat with the hands too, so the Arabs would have loved to eat Bush. The Obama Sushi will probably sell well among Republicans in the US, wouldn't it? I guess they are the ones who would love to eat Obama alive. Since they can't do it politically, the Japanese give them a chance to do it gastronomically! :)

If you can do it on Sushi, why not on other foods too? I can imagine a new industry that gives people the opportunity to eat anybody they want for lunch, dinner, snack or breakfast (lol)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

AIM. PEE. GOAALL....

An interesting research that improves the way men pee in the toilets. Keeps the toilet clean and your wife happy! Take a look at the photo. An interesting experiment would be if the fly was placed outside the urinal by the wall; how many men, if any, would pee there? :)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

What will bookstores in the future look like?

Despite Amazon, people like to visit bookshops. On a recent class discussion on the future of Amazon, I had the thought of a new bookstore concept that blends Amazon and the traditional bookstore. I was thinking of creating a physical bookstore that sells paperbacks without stacking any of them on its shelves. The shelves will instead stack thousands of kindles with book titles on them. The kindles will look like physical books using 3D holography. When a customer picks a kindle book to browse, the titles of all the books next to it change to become more relevant to the content browsed.

Because there's no physical paper inventory, there are no sections. The customer types a keyword in a little screen and all the titles near him change. It's like browsing online in a physical space. When the customer decides which books to buy, he places the order, pays and laser printers at the back of the store print out the paperback. Books will be less expensive to buy and the experience of a visit to a physical location preserved. The second-hand bookstore will probably not be able to compete and die.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Online references

Some authors publish blogs about their books in order to promote their work and get feedback from readers. Very few of them, however, post all references online. It would be very helpful if for every book there was a list of links were all references were available to click and read (bibliography, articles, manuscripts etc). Book publishers can make it a requirement that to publish any work in print the author has to make available online all references.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Thrust the Crust. Close this African/European Gap!

Just a silly thought. We know that the African tectonic plate is inexorably heading north, swallowing southern Europe in the process. To geographically unite Europe and Africa will take thousands of years and perhaps many more devastating earthquakes. What if we could speed up the process with sex? For a month, we get all countries in South Europe and Africa to exchange their female and gay populations for the purpose of engaging in hardcore sex. The only condition will be that the Europeans thrust from north to south and the Africans and Arabs thrust south to north. The goal will be to make love in the direction of the tectonic plates!!

Just an idea to bring Europe and Africa together faster. They are moving closer anyway. If you are happy with the current rate of 4 millimeters every year you don't have to participate but if you like to increase the speed by a few millimeters you can join the people's movement for faster unity between the continents :P

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Blame US Communism!

Everyone wants to convince us that capitalism failed but I beg to differ. It was Communism that failed and true Capitalism that will be restored after the crisis is over.

Not many people realize that unregulated markets where everyone can buy the equivalent to their income of a $700,000 house they can't afford is a communist thing. Soviet Union communism wanted to make everyone equally poor. The recent version of communism we experienced in the US and elsewhere wanted to make everyone equally rich. The Soviet Union collapse exposed the fallacy of the former and the current economic crisis the fallacy of the latter.

Not everyone is equal and not everyone can live equally the same, whether it's rich or poor. Unregulated markets were, therefore, a neo-liberal marxist tool to introduce unsustainable communism in an otherwise perfectly functioning capitalist system.

Communist subversives are now discredited and time has come to go back to true capitalism where everyone can live according to their means and true worth. I wonder why people can't see it was the greed of communism that failed and not the greed of capitalism. Capitalism would never aspire to make everyone equally rich or poor! Why don't people see that? :)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

The NASA acronym

I just did a Google search for the NASA acronym and I found that it has at least 37 different meanings starting, of course, with National Aeronautics and Space Administration to National Association of State Archaeologists (USA) and to Navy Alpine Snowsports Association in..Australia!!! The only use of the acronym I didn't see was that of a commercial airline. NASA is so famous all over the world, don't you think it would be clever to launch a new airline whose acronym would be NASA? How about New Age Service Airlines for example?

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Facilitate space debris collection

Make all spaceship and satellite equipment from material that transmit their exact location. Develop a website, perhaps only NASA can do that, which monitors their orbital fall back to earth. By giving out the exact location of their fall on earth, space enthusiasts will go collect them. If they fall in remote places, the locals can pick them up and sell them via auction on eBay. NASA will certify the authenticity of recovered items such as an astronaut's glove claimed to be Neil Amstrong's or a screwdriver belonging to Yuri Gagarin. When facing budget cuts, NASA can collect the items itself and put them for sale on eBay to raise money for its programs:)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Monday, April 20, 2009

Paintball the answer to school shootings?

After the recent shootings in Germany must schools everywhere introduce paintball games as part of the curriculum to allow deranged, depressed or mentally unstable students to release their anger and rage? Teachers will participate and measure student anger from the amount of paint drawn on them. The guns will have detectors to measure the intensity with which a trigger is pressed and once the data is collected look for patterns that reveal anger. One more thought. Europeans claim America is a very violent society and gun ownership is the problem. I let the incident answer the claim. Last time I checked no one reported it was red paint that killed those innocent German students...

http://www.thinkaloo.com

How to deal with loneliness and stray animals adultoyfully!!

I can't reveal the name of the company that agreed to try it but the idea is to offer a dog or cat for free with every adult toy sale. 'Having a dog or cat to pet after playing with the vibrator can make the experience more complete and emotionally satisfying for our customers', the company's spokesman told the press.

The company aims to provide a permanent emotional fix alongside sexual self-gratification. If the emotional aspect of sex is petaken care of, women will be able to focus on enhancing sexual pleasure guilt-free.

Analysts suggest that the free gift won't cost the company a dime as the pets will be recruited from the vast army of stray animals roaming our cities.

The company claims its policy of helping stray dogs and cats find loving and caring owners is not only good business but also the socially responsible thing to do. Local authorities are happy to team up and subsidize the effort.

Incredible? You bet! But that doesn't mean it wouldn't be fun to try the idea just to see how people would react to the offer :)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Reader's Reward

When I buy a book to read, I spend money to buy the author's wisdom, knowledge and thinking process. I reward him for his time and effort. As a reader, however, I also give up my time from doing other activities to read the book. Shouldn't my effort and time also be rewarded? I propose that out of the retail price of any book $1 is discounted at the time of the purchase and the discount is symbolically given the name 'Reader's Reward'. What do you think? Is it fair?

http://www.thinkaloo.com

The "ice glass"method for reducing credit card spending

This is not my idea. A lot of you may already know about it. For those that don't, I copy and paste: "It's a home remedy for impulsive spending. You put your credit card into a glass of water and put the glass in the freezer. Then, when you impulsively decide to make a purchase, you must first wait for the ice to thaw before extracting the card. By then, your compulsion to purchase has subsided. You can't put the card in the microwave, of course, because then you'd destroy the magnetic strip." The concept might not work well in high temperature climates but it might still worth trying if you want to use some good sense of humor to reign in on your impulsive spending :)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Multiple Resurrections

I came to the island of Lefkada to spend Easter weekend. The traditional church ceremony was the funniest I have been to in many years. Fireworks lit the sky at 11:15pm, 45 minutes earlier!! A granny asked me if Christ's Resurrection had happened. I told her with a very serious face that in this church they resurrect Christ one hour earlier because the priest has to go to another church soon after.

She seemed disappointed and asked why, so I decided to laugh at this and made up a story about many priests in the island losing their jobs this year because of the bad economy so the ones with a job had to take their shifts or God would not forgive their slacking! The granny kept nodding her head. I don't know if she believed me but she kept nodding. I then looked around and watched others puzzled and confused rolling their eyes in front of their watches. The 45-minutes-premature fireworks were still lighting up the sky, I just had to burst out laughing nervously. I couldn't help it.

I decided to go inside the church as the spectacle outside was unbelievably surrealist and I couldn't control my laughs. Soon as I came in, some of the guys that were standing in the church yard outside, started taking turns exploding detonators. They were obsessive. No one would take a break and the blasts kept coming. Being inside the church it sounded as if a Panathinaikos-Olympiakos soccer game was going on outside. Or Gulf War 3. When some detonators would explode too close to the church's windows and blast out loud, all the little kids inside the church would scream and interrupt the priest. And oh man, the priest!

He was definitely a character on his own. He was chanting fast and in a low voice, he seemed in a hurry to go hide in a bunker or stop the ceremony and go out to scold the fire workers to stop it. Yeah right!

He kept interrupting the liturgy once every 2-3 minutes not to ask someone to go tell the kids to stop exploding the detonators but to ask the crowd to come closer and fill the space in front of him. Was he worried about some part of the church falling or something? Thank Christ I didn't have to wait long to figure out why he was in such a hurry.

The priest turned the lights off inside the church around 11:40pm, twenty minutes earlier than usual, then he appeared on stage like a rock star holding the holy flames and chanting out so loud now it was impossible to hear the explosions outside. He was a rustic paparokas live on stage, a rock-star priest. That's why he would gesture to people with his hands to make them come closer to him. He so desperately wanted to have the crowd fill in the space in front of him he wouldn't mind interrupting the liturgy to nudge people to come closer. What a funny guy!

He was like a stage director planning on making an impressive stage appearance for himself after the lights switched off! Could it be that he was secretly filming the ceremony too? He didn't seem to mind the detonators or the early launch of the fireworks at all!

At some point, however, he must have realized he hurried the whole thing too much. A premature resurrected Christ might have whispered it to him. 20 minutes to midnight. Everyone's looking at their watches again. The paparokas priest has to do something to patch it, so he did the most natural thing to him. He kept chanting the Christ Resurrected theme so many times over and over and over, I think this was the first Easter in my life I must have witnessed multiple resurrections of Christ.

What a weird little village church. Totally asynchronous and absolutely hilarious. After this, I don't want to spend Easter in Athens anymore. Local villages are so much more fun. So unpredictable and idiosyncratic!

http://www.thinkaloo.com