Not impressed with men's parking skills

Ok I'll admit that I am hopeless at parallel parking but if men are as good as they claim to be in parking cars even in tight spots why are they so lousy finding a woman's g-spot and parking themselves there??

What we should definetely highlight is my vibrator. He parks himself perfectly in every necessary spot! And since i am also hopeless in parallel parking maybe i should use him while i am parking my car, he might give me the extra skills i need.

Well, considering the g-spot isn't visible, maybe we should give men a break in that area. rather, we should highlight those men who can't find the essential "C" spot (which is a lot more visible than a hidden curb while parallel parking), well... maybe they need a lesson on the female anatomy, or perhaps their girlfriends need a lesson in assertiveness to tell their boyfriends EXACTLY what they need to DO IT RIGHT and stop trying to protect their pseudo-Casanova egos. Could we lay blame on the girlfriends for creating the men who think they're god's gift to women? Anyone care to comment?

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which letter is most popular?

could google count all the instances each individual letter appears on the web and then rank them by most use? i had this strange thought that if an article is written with words that make more use of the most popular letter people will probably read it faster. if such assumption holds true then a new software algorithm can be made to suggest edits on long texts for faster reading.

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Question on Sexual Attraction

I read a woman's brain is able to decode the state of a man's immune system and if it's complementary to, or stronger than her own immune system, she will find the man attractive. Women use their nose to detect the pheromones and musk-like odours associated with men and these are scents that cannot be detected consciously. Does that mean that if a woman has given birth already she can also get attracted to men with weaker or non-complementary immune systems? That's important to know because if that's true it means that a man's chances to get laid are higher with women who have already given birth!

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funny ads

Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.

Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 -- $9 per hour.

ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.

Nice Parachute! Never opened. Used once.

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signs of a cheating girlfriend

Cheating has plagued love lives for generations. Sometimes, one never finds out about an affair a girlfriend has had. However, there are certain signs which might give one a clue as to whether (and exactly to what limit) the girlfriend is cheating.

The first sign of infidelity by a girlfriend in a relationship is her general disinterest in anything that the two enjoyed doing together previously. Sometimes this disinterest is blatant. For example, if a couple watches a movie together, and afterwards she can't remember anything about the movie, then she might be deeply distracted by something. This disinterest then might graduate into a series of unexplained cancellations of plans.

Another sign of infidelity is an inexplicable display of guilt. One way in which guilt manifests itself is avoidance of the person who the guilty party feels is being hurt by her actions. The cheating girlfriend is therefore prone to generally avoiding the injured party either by not taking calls or by not meeting for that ride or walk the couple used to like so much. Guilt can also cause pre-existing levels of intimacy to plummet.

Of course, there are countless other signs of a new lover: a sudden increase in her monthly expenses and car mileage; a splurge on cosmetics and clothes; a chronically non-reachable cell phone; an increase in overtime at her job without the accompanying increase in her paycheck, and so on. Also, if you notice a sudden increase in the number of her distant cousins, friends, ex-classmates, college friends, and so on, beware: she might be cheating.

Girlfriends having an affair have to be extremely well organized; their schedules are therefore punctiliously maintained. An affair is just an extension of a girl's daily life: she has to find time for the accomplice between family, work, social life, and the injured party. Keeping a big secret is a very tiresome job, and only the coolest, most calculating people can actually keep such a secret. If your girlfriend is not very resourceful and she is keeping a secret, she will probably falter somewhere and maybe blurt it out to you herself.

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If my balls had the right dimples too...

Ok, a new research promises to make golf balls with the right dimple design so that they fly farther and make your drive more powerful. They use aerodynamics to lower the drag golf balls encounter as they fly through the air. Too bad this ball research can never be applied in other sports and the tools they use. You see in some three-letter sports drag is good as it creates more grip and friction and the more friction the more pleasure for the athletes and players involved :)

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I don't understand these modern pirates...

Did you hear they make $150 million a year hijacking tankers and fish boats? My Jack Sparrow, that's a lot of money. The mistake they do is that they don't invest any money at all in pirate movies. A pirate gets bad publicity on the news and good publicity in the movies. All they have to do is invest a couple of million in Hollywood to make more pirate movies. That's it! Or hire costume consultants from Hollywood to dress them in traditional pirate attire. People will see them more sympathetically on the news this way. The rest of the money can stay buried under Somali sand :)

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((: very Very important bathroom tips here :))

Install one-way glass in men's public bathrooms so that only the guys that use it on the inside can see the people they're peeing towards to on the outside. :D:D

If you're rich design your bathroom with a fireplace in it!

Make every room connect to the bathroom with intercom so you can talk to the rest of the house from there.

Make sure the bathroom door closes automatically either with the press of a button or using voice recognition. You'll thank me for it when you'll have to hop out of the shower or pop out of the sheat if someone comes in suddenly

Build the bath tub exactly beneath your bed. Let me describe it better. The bed will rest on the bath tub. Press the button and the bed splits open to the bath tub below.

Those who hate it getting out of bed to shower in the morning they can fall right into the bath.

With these thoughts I bestow upon you the perfect bathroom design for your needs. Have a nice bath ladies and gentlemen!! :)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

headphone ear swab

what about having your ears cleaned while you listen to music? weird, no? I don't know if the product exists but cleaning the ear must make absolutely no noise to distract you from the music. it can sell like any other silly gadget that's in the market. and hey you never now how helpful it can be. for example if someone's ears are too dirty he might hear the music better after they're cleaned. if that's not possible it'll be fun to promote it like that anyway :D:D:D

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laundry-proof money

i'm definitely one of those people who forget money in their pant pockets very often and before i know it the money's put in the laundry and gets laundered!! that's not bad when i earn it under the table but these days i still work in the pay-your-taxes economy so when i put decent money in the laundry it gets destroyed. so my girlfriend suggested that since there is nothing more she can do with my faulty memory she'll buy me bills that are water-proof and detergent-resistant. i initially liked her idea so i kept going and told her she worries too much i'll go back to earning money that Needs laundering. interesting what silly topics you get to think and talk with your girlfriend sometimes. water-proof money, yeah right! :)

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$367 sex-on-the-beach permits!!

Did you read on the news that a British couple who had sex on a public beach in Dubai was arrested, charged and found guilty for having illicit relations and showing public indecency? They got fined $367 for it and escaped jail. There you go. The fine sets minimum price for the permit. It will start at $367 and you'll add to it the price for escaping jail. I bet the market for such permits to foreigners and locals is huge in the Middle East. It can also become very lucrative. They only thing is to choose beaches that Somali pirates don't use. Otherwise your permit won't help you escape the pirates joining your act And holding you hostage for ransom!

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Why did they stop producing electric vehicles?

In 1996, the first electric cars were produced, it was the EV1 (Electric Vehicle 1), these were made in the USA by General Motors and started to ride the roads of California.

These were fast cars, reaching 0 to 65mph in less than 9 seconds! They were silent!

They did not produce any type of pollution, they didn’t even have a tail pipe!

They could easily recharge at home or at the mall, you even had preferred parking if you had one of these.

Ten years later these cars of the future disappeared. How was this possible? Why did it happen?

In the first place you could not buy these cars; you could only lease them and when the lease was finished you did not have the option to buy them.

General Motors took back all the EV1, in spite of the opposition of its users.

In 1997, Nissan presented the electric model Hypermini in a Tokyo show.

The city of Pasadena(California USA)purchased these vehicles for some of their city
employees.

It was well accepted for its easy parking ability and moved well around the city

In the year 2006, the lease expired and the city of Pasadena needed to return
Nissan tried to purchase the cars from the cars to Nissan.

Nissan recovered all the cars to later...destroy them!!

The lobbiest of the oil companies don’t want our electric vehicles to survive...they want to keep up the oil rage in the middle east, all to protect the oil companies and will continue to kill and destroy anything that get in their way, including us with their polluting vehicles killing all the people in our planet!!!

That's an explanation some people give over the internet. I repeat this is not something I wrote, I had received it over email in a powerpoint presentation

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Let casino CEOs run banks!

A friend of mine who used to work for a bank that doesn't exist anymore used to tell me that a banker's real job is actually very very boring. Take deposits, give loans, call on borrowers to ask them to pay etc etc Yes really boring stuff. So when a banker is really bored he dreams of being in exotic places doing exotic things and then allows his in-house trader to design exotic trades and instruments for him. He used to say the only way to add spice to his job was to let bankers gamble selling it as 'financial innovation' which they did and here we are. So I wonder why not let casino CEOs run the remaining banks that are left? They're good at what they do, aren't they? When you go to a casino you always end up losing your money up to your pain point but the point is that the house Never goes bankrupt!! That's way better for the rest of us who are not gamblers, isn't it?

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When a man 'loves' a woman...

Which part of his body grows to at least three times its size?? As I'm sure the answer that comes to your mind first is the wrong one, I'll give 2 hints.

#1: It starts with a p but it doesn't end in an s.

#2: It has a round shape and women love to look at it.

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Aren't youth hostels the safest places to stay?

If motels are usually the meeting places for criminals and luxury hotels in foreign countries are targets for terrorists then that leaves out youth hostels as the safest and cheapest place to stay. When I travel I always choose to stay in them and after the killings in India I will cancel all my bookings in Mumbai. To cancel is the only way I can afford to stay in such hotels anyway! :D

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Merit-based scholarship and how to improve it

Usually merit-based scholarship is given if the student maintains a minimum GPA. How about changing this rule and make merit-based scholarship available based on the improvement a student makes on any subject from one semester to the next? If a student last semester got a C in math and this semester improved her grade to B she gets $1,000, if the grade was improved to A she gets $2,000. If she got the highest grade she can get and managed to maintain it then the scholarship will be a fixed amount, say $500 or something. If the grades drop she gets no money.

The amounts will be the same across all subjects. The differences in the amounts will only be determined based on the degree of grade improvement. I think this system gives stronger incentives for students to perform better at school.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

how to ruin someone's date

i tried it once as a prank at school with my friends and it worked. we set up this guy and girl on a date but told them each that the other person has a slight hearing problem so they need to talk at least 10% louder than usual to be heard. end result? they hated having met each other. the funniest part though was that each one believed in the end that the other person had a hearing problem when that was not the case. when the guy wanted to join the school choir she was so against this on the grounds he couldn't hear a damn thing..lol

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can an Italian talk without his hands?

I guess the only way to get a good answer to that question is to tie his hands and ask him to talk. He might talk but he will probably communicate poorly. That's a clever way to ask an Italian guy to do something sexy for you, tie his hands behind his back if you're into those kind of things. Just challenge his speaking skills and he'll probably fall for it :)

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increase armrest space

I can think of many places where this is necessary. air planes, buses, cinemas, theaters etc. A passenger can't be expected to cut or shorten their arms but a company could increase the space of the armrest. This is important because people from different cultures have different ways to deal with intrusion to what they consider as their private space. Elbow cups with soft cushion inside would also be a good idea.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Men-bra for flat-breast women

I am posting this under Gift Ideas for women with flat breasts. If you are looking for that perfect bra, you should also consider checking the bra for men. For one it offers more variety to choose from. Apparently they sell well in Japan among men but I wouldn't be surprised if women buy them too! Wondering what a guy's reaction might be if you bought him a bra for a gift, not bad for a prank gift idea actually...

http://www.thinkaloo.com

temperature-control microwave

what about a new generation of microwave ovens where instead of setting the watt and time you set the temperature for the food to heat up to or cool down (defrost mode). it would be more efficient, easier to use and help avoid overheating.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

I'd like to talk about a book I haven't read!

The title of the book is "How to talk about books you haven't read". First let me tell you this is no joke. The book is real and sells for $14. Check it out on Amazon if you don't believe me. The gist of the book is that a truly cultivated person should not read books but be able to talk about them by understanding how they are related to other books and where they fit into our culture.

That's an interesting argument. As soon as I read the first page I got the author's point right away. I closed the book and put it back on the shelf. Never bought it or opened it again. I can easily talk about it for hours. I am the kind of person who doesn't read much anyway so if I didn't read this one I am actually very qualified to talk about it.

The only problem with that book is that it's full of text from start to finish when its argument is that you only need to read the title and table of contents of any book in order to really understand it. According to the author, reading a book in all its detail from the first to the last page does disservice to your understanding of it. Perhaps it would have been better if this book's pages were left blank with a "no-need-to-read" note in them. I think so. The author would have made his point so much better this way and it would have been the easiest $14 ever written.

Do you see how much I have written already about the book? And I can keep going. I am so happy I got the gist of it right away without reading it And saved myself $14! :)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

save trees, print less paper

imagine how many trees can be saved if printer settings did not give the option of printing on one side only. a simple adjustment in the settings to make all printers print using both sides of paper means less paper would be consumed. it's probably about half the amount we print now. if you think about it that's a lot of paper!

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Discount to Kill. Only in America!!

How do you know if the price is right in America? You count the dead bodies. I love the ironies in free-market capitalism practiced only in USnA. The seller gives a deadly discount thinking this will help his business when it actually hurts it. If the buyer's dead the only one who gets new business is the funeral services company next door and perhaps a few lawyers to deal with the lawsuit to the seller for giving out the deadly discounts in the first place. In America people work hard and kill for a discount. Of course, when they do that the only thing that gets discounted is the kill. In the Middle East foreigners work hard and we the locals kill time or if we have too much of it then some of our diehards kill foreigners. It's Kill (the store's) Bill vs Kill (the) Rolex (guys)!

People in the USnA think of us as terrorists but the USnA has now its own new breed of terrorists. The Al Qaedas kill to right what they mistakenly think as wrong. The American Discount Terrorists kill to get the price right, or never get it at all if they end up dead! So how do you know if the price's right in America? You check the obituaries first :)

Did you notice that no one ever reports the deadly price of the toy over which people got killed in America? Was it that cheap really they didn't want more people to get killed?? :))

http://www.thinkaloo.com

[[ Show Must go on! ]]

No new hero. Another mindless crime. Whatever happened to that toy in the Toys "R" Us store last night? Someone must grasp it and live with it for a while.

Come on imagine you're the wife. You spot the ridiculous low price of $XXX.99 for the toy and you know it'll make your kid very very happy to have it. You've been waiting outside the store since 4am on a Black Friday and you're almost ready to cry when you come across this great discount first. You go get it but another woman gets her hands on it too.

Your husband draws his weapon to fight for it but gets killed in the process. He gets killed for a fucking little toy in front of his wife and kid. You're fucked up so your first concern must be to make sure your husband didn't die in vain. What must your instant reaction be just like you saw it in the movies? Try and secure the toy of course!!

In order to do that you must grab your dead husband's gun fist and then shoot at the wife of the other guy who already grabbed her husband's gun and is ready to shoot back at you. Your little brad who lost his toy keeps crying "Shoot Mama, Shoot! Shoot that Bitch!!"

But according to the news you didn't do that. The shooting didn't go on. And that's because someone must have taken the toy away and there's no toy to secure. So your husband did die for nothing. What do you do when your husband dies for nothing? You go crazy, totally ballistic and that's when you start shooting the Bitch out of excruciating range!!

But according to the news that didn't happen either. You didn't shoot the Bitch. You didn't shoot the sheriff either. Not even the deputy. And why's that I ask? That's because women in America don't carry their own weapons like their husbands do.

That is so unfair, so politically incorrect and so sexist. Women should carry their own weapons and be able to shoot the sheriff and the deputy. Ask Sarah Palin who was ready to go on a hunting spree with Sarkozy and without a dick and a black guy to block her way she would have done it.

But at least the foxy Miss Alaska Governor could take up the French wolf's offer because she had a gun and great hunting-vision glasses too. All women in America aspire to the same rights and glasses don't they? :)

So fax your complain to the NRA today! Women should carry guns too, it's not fair that their husbands get killed for nothing. Female gun ownership must be better regulated. With the black guy in charge now there is no better timing for more regulation. Under the law, women in America should also carry guns and not just in the movies.. :P:P:P

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