Air bags can lessen injury during flight turbulence

Strong injuries from air turbulence don't happen that often, but when they do happen they can be severe. On a flight from Rio de Janeiro to Texas, people were "thrown to the roof as if they were dolls" and some feared for their lives when a Continental Airlines flight ran into turbulence, shaken passengers said. What about installing air bags at the top of the passengers' seats? Grave injury can occur when the heads bumps suddenly and with force into hard plastic, like in a car accident. The air bags will be programmed to open within nano-seconds of a sudden drop in altitude and could help save lives. If it's too expensive or hard to design air bags for this purpose, covering the space with pillows or other soft shock-absorbing material would be preferable to hitting the head on hard plastic.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Caddies with microphones

A player and his caddie are on the golf course for 4.5 hours a day, of which 1 hour is spent discussing shot strategy, club selection and the speed of the greens. Golfers who have great caddies improve their own position. I think it would be a great idea for all fans of the game to allow caddies to wear microphones on the course so that viewers can eavesdrop on conversations between the caddie and the player and gain greater insight of the game.

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The President's Health

Sarkozy had promised the French people that, unlike Francois Miteran and Jacques Chirac, he won't keep his health a state secret. Details of his medical exams and checkups would be made public. When he fainted while jogging and ushered to hospital, Sarkozy kept his word and announced the details of his heart malfunction. That was the honest thing to do. Perhaps too honest. Here's what I'm thinking. Would Sarkozy exhibit the same amount of honesty if his heart failed him during sex with Carla Bruni? Even if he wanted to be totally honest about it, would the French people want to know that their President's heart failed during sex? Here's why I am not so convinced that the full details of the incident would come out.

Take a look at the photo. You see 4 leaders. The American is business as usual. He looks in the distance and doesn't get distracted. The Canadian is fixing his tie, he looks naive. The Italian and the French, however, are both intensely sizing up the woman's curves!!

Some things are too cultural to change. If Sarkozy's heart failed him during sex with Carla, we would know about the heart failure but I doubt we would know about the actual circumstances that caused it.

While all the medical details would be made public, we would still be told it all happened while the couple was jogging in the streets of Paris together...

http://www.thinkaloo.com

The unbearable lightness of being funny in North Korea

North Korea called Hillary Clinton a funny lady. Then it agreed to pardon the two American journalists and hand them back to the funny lady's husband Bill Clinton!!

It's possible that North Korea doesn't know Billary is still married to Hillary and that makes their decision look kind of funny. It's also possible this little Dear Leader of North Korea thinks having Billary over for drinks is funnier than having Hillary. As a young man he said he smoked marijuana but did not inhale it. As President, he said he did not have a sexual relationship with Monika Lewinsky. Maybe he entered but she didn't inhale. And maybe that's a very funny thing to say in North Korea where illegal entry gets you 12 years in a labor camp. Kim Jong ill and dying so maybe his last wish is to meet funny people. Chris Rock, Jon Stewart, Robin Williams should join the North Korean diplomatic corps and ready themselves for the next mission!

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Why is Everyone beautiful?

I've been wondering about the definition of beauty in our times. Do you realize that Everyone is beautiful these days? They all have inner beauty or outer beauty or spiritual beauty, or some kind of hidden beauty that no-one can understand etc. etc. Why can't some people, in fact a very great many, not be beautiful, just be the way they were born? If we can't come up with a definition of beauty we can all agree to, then we should at least qualify its use. I, for example, am disputably beautiful but Brad Pitt is indisputably the same! :)

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Sphincter condoms

Did you know that if you wrap a rubber band around your testicles, you might experience massive erections? Don't wrap it too tight or it can cause pain after a while and lead to more serious complications. I don't believe it's true nor am I willing to try it to find out. But it gave me a better idea. How about condoms with a tight film sphincter to apply a strong grip at the base of the penis?

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Castrategy overdose...

A eunuch was a castrated man that served as guard or servant to the emperor/king. Because he was castrated he was considered very trustworthy. We find eunuchs in ancient Greece, Persia, Turkey, India and China. At the end of the Ming Dynasty, for example, there were about 70,000 eunuchs employed by the emperor. I'm thinking.

Why castrate 70,000 straight men and not employ 70,000 gay men to protect the harem? Were the women in the harem so gay-tempting gorgeous or were gay men such a rare species back then? Or was the ruler afraid his guards might be tempted to guard him from too close a distance one day? :)

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Fucking *insert your own noun here*

Acceptable nouns for me include: twat, prick, dick, bastard, bitch, douche. Carpet muncher and butt pirate (although of course, that is offensive to pirates) are also admissible. This is useful when someone cuts you off while stuck/driving in traffic, when you find out that your girlfriend is cheating (unless of course it's with another woman), or if someone stabs you in the thigh with a steak knife.

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Gourmet sandwich vending machines

A vending machine dispensing gourmet sandwiches in addition to Snickers bars would be a nice new product to have into offices and buildings for people who arrive for work early and stay late. By gourmet I also mean fresh, so daily restocking of ingredients will be required. On busy days, I wouldn't mind paying a bit extra to get fresh a sandwich right off my desk.

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Expand iPhone alerts

My iPhone can alert me when a friend is within a mile of me. Why can't I call a driver who's within 20 feet to ask that they let me pass?

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Can you speak dirty?

Don't ask yourself this question and then try to answer it. You either speak it or can't speak it. Dirty talk can't be learnt. It's not a technique that is gained. You're either good at it or you're not. You either feel it or you don't. You got to feel nasty to talk nasty. Example. Look at my photo. You're clean beautiful and horny. You have the opportunity to receive anything from me. Anything you like. What you say to me to turn me on? If you say, "I'd want you to stick it up to my chin" that's witty but not nasty. I'll stick it up, but you don't have the dirty talk. You have aroused my dirty thoughts but you don't use dirty words. It's me who's dirty...

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Small pays, Big renegotiates!

If I owe my bank $10,000 it's definitely my problem but if I can't pay my bank back $2 billion I owe them, is it my problem or is it theirs? There's this saying that small is beautiful, but what's so beautiful if I am a small business owner who can't renegotiate the terms of a loan because it's my problem to come up with the money? Banks are the institutions who suck up to you when you owe a lot but expect you to suck up to them when you owe a little. So unfair and yet so true.

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how to raise money for an expensive surgery

why not broadcast it online? viewers can pay a small fee and hospital and medical equipment suppliers will pay larger fees to advertise directly. if you don't have insurance and can't afford to pay for the surgery, there's nothing wrong letting the public watch. some viewers will be medical students and learn not to repeat mistakes when something goes wrong and you die. at least you won't die in vain or leave your family in debt.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Protect the forests from burning

Every summer huge areas of forest are lost as a result of fires started by arsonists or plain accidents. Unfortunately when weather conditions are unfavorable they get so big that it is impossible to turn them off. Why not develop some type of liquid that you could throw on areas of the forest that would make trees and plants resistant to fire for an extended period of time like months or perhaps years and prevent the plants from burning. The liquid would have to be harmless to plants. The method would be similar to the planes and helicopters that throw water to extinguish the fire but water dries out in a few hours.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

How smart can bankers be?

You think bankers have to be smart guys (to steal your money at least :-). I read the following incident, the french bank BBVA in Buenos Aires was undergoing restoration work and for that reason the owners of the bank decided to turn off alarms, disconnect circuit cameras and other security devices in order to make things easy for the workers. They were so smart that they didn't even bother to tell the local police station that the security would be turned off during the time of the restoration. So what happened? A bunch of more clever thieves dressed up in painters' uniform and wearing painters' masks, entered the bank pretending to do paint work and without any major trouble stole everything they could from it.
If bankers are so smart no wonder why we are in crisis.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Friendbook

How about a new social networking site where your friends get to create your profile? That's never been done before. Wouldn't it be interesting to see how friends describe you collaboratively?

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Reuse of illegal drugs

I think it's a good idea to re-use illegal drugs that are seized by the police and supply hospitals and marijuana dispensaries for medical treatment use. Why burn or destroy what gets confiscated when we can use it and save our health system some money.

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A no-brainer...

We know the brain's split into 2 sides but that's not the politically correct way to think of it. For example, if the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body then, does that mean only left-handed people are in their right minds? ?? Besides, does anyone really know what side the center of the brain controls? None. That's because a center brain would get very confused trying not to show favoritism to one side or the other. So, if a center brain is not the right brain to have, what else is there left to have? :)

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Priests can be funny

On a radio phone-in, a lady called the radio pastor. The pastor was a wise, grandfatherly gentleman who had that calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear. The lady, who was obviously crying, said, "Pastor, I was born blind, and I've been blind all my life. I don't mind so much being blind but I have some well meaning friends who tell me that if I had more faith I could be healed." The pastor asked her, "Tell me, do you carry one of those white canes?" "Yes I do," she replied. "Then the next time someone says that hit them over the head with the cane," he said. "Then tell them 'If you had more faith that wouldn't hurt' "!

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Handcuff Bracelet

Good for: Parties, Cocktails, Going Out...They should list all the ways you can use it. What happened to the notion that all good advertising should excite people's imagination for the product? Perhaps they realized it sells too well to people whose imagination is already very stimulated. Or it could be that they figured out playing down the excitement which comes after Parties, Cocktails and Going Out...that it was never going to stop people from imagining it anyway :)

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Suitcase Airlines

If I can't afford to pay the full airfare why can't I just pay the luggage-overweight cost and fly baggage class? Or fly almost-free by spreading the extra overweight cost among a few other passengers who are flying under their maximum luggage limit. Obviously, I will pay each one of my flight's sponsors a small tip for sharing my weight and for letting me depend on their sharing my kilos again in another flight.

I wouldn't be an illegal immigrant because I'm paying a fully taxable lower-than-economy fare plus I get to show my passport and boarding pass at the check-in counter. Weight-loss companies can offer special deals to people who are overweight and thus keep the price competitive for people of all shapes and heft. So long as I am flexible and don't mind being suit-cased, why should airlines object to it?

Newly designed suitcases will be required to make the travel more comfortable. Suitcase manufacturers can use NASA's know-how in making all things compact and practical for people on long flights.

Instead of being asked "How many people are traveling today?" and then being asked "And how many suitcases will you be checking in, Sir?", the ground attendant can just ask the latter and check me in and through the airport in one go. That means I will be boarding the plane faster than First-Class passengers do. Not bad! :)

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Beautiful Impressions

The perfect name to use if you plan to start a new escort agency in Italy or rename your existing business. Inspired by Tarantini, the Italian businessman who hired escorts to attend parties at Berlusconi's homes. Tarantini denies any wrongdoing and says he brought women to the parties to make a "beautiful impression." Italians are notorious for tax evasion so maybe avoiding paying taxes is his real motive for making a beautiful impression. Whatever the motive, however, I can't think of a better way to name an escort agency in Italy. Italians have an interesting sense of words, if they apply it to marketing their shady business, there's the next great world export from Italy :-))

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Kissing the germiest tourist attractions...

I read an article on CNN about the germiest tourist attractions in the world. 400,000 people kissed the Blamey stone in Ireland last year and Oscar Wilde fans who visit his tomb in Paris leave Wilde lipstick marks on it. There is no sign in these places saying they are disinfected daily and they're ok to kiss. The tourist authorities wouldn't want to make people self-conscious about it but how do we know they clean them every day? This article made me self-conscious, not just about tourist spots. In Greece, it's the custom to kiss religious icons in a church. I was forced to do it when I was little. I didn't like it because I believed I was the anti-Christ. Now I know I'm not (I can't even delete the memory of the kiss how could I have been the chosen one?) but seeing other people's lip-prints on the glass is still disgusting to me. Can someone convince me that those hairy/oily Greek priests clean the icons before they ask people to kiss them??

http://www.thinkaloo.com

A thought for Iranian protesters

What if the millions of Iranians who voted for the opposition parties and whose votes have been ignored marched in front of prisons and demanded to be prisoned? Instead of marching on the streets, getting beaten, killed or sent to prisons selectively, millions could march to the prisons directly. Show up every day in front of the gates. That would be a very powerful message, it would make a mockery of the government's selectively arresting people and putting them to prison and be a strong show of solidarity with the people inside.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Chuck Saw and Ramen noodles

Due to a stomach infection, I've been reverting back to my college budget and habits the last two weeks, Chuck Shaw and Ramen noodles being two of the main food groups that keep me culinary company. I realized it's not a good plan to put Tupperware in the oven-even if it just to heat up said Ramen noodles. But it's not necessarily a bad idea, melted plastic with Chuck Saw and Ramen noodles can be a good substitute when you run out of Chuck Saw and Ramen noodles..lol

http://www.thinkaloo.com