The photo was taken a day after the fires took a break from work because a) they got tired b) felt lazy c) showed respect for the Acropolis d) found no more forest to rage through e) all of the above. Please believe everything I'm telling you because the sign in this photo is not a joke. It wasn't staged or meant as humor. It's for Real! The sign reads "FOR SALE". Now, I am no forensic expert, but there was a major fire around it, and the sign seems clean and white. In other words, brand new.
Whoever put the sign out there is the world's proudest Real Estate Arsonist advertising his services to all interested parties. Business-as-usual.
Don't call him an arrogant idiot for posting his phone number on the sign. He thinks he is so smart for not making the mistake to post his photo. That was an option which would have helped all potential invisible-forest buyers remember him better.
In a moment of greatness he toyed with the idea of putting a memorable photo of Nero burning Rome. Obviously modesty won over sociopathy. Full of national pride rushing through his lungs for lack of oxygen, the maverick 'signed' out of his sense of humor and settled for his phone's digits.
But ring him on these digits and you won't be the first one to do so. Surely some dingbat called him for a free consultation before you did. If you're put on hold for too long, don't hang up the phone. Enjoy The Doors song playing in the background, lighting vivid memories of previous years' small-scale fires around Athens.
Naive Leonidas sent his 300 to certain death in the Hot Gates when a call to this guy to sell Greek land to Xerxes by inviting his 1 million army to a burn-alive roadshow presentation would have done the job much better. Little did he know what his proud descendants are capable of.
I don't know what to say any more. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That we are capable of burning down everything around Athens that's not made of concrete?
I and 10 million other Greeks knew of that great potential of ours from observing our progress every summer in blaming 'nature' for setting all the fires we never expected nor wanted to seriously prepare ourselves to prevent or control.
That we will invent Forest Estate Arsony and advertise it so publicly and modestly?
I admit this is not something that crossed my mind. Ever.
Don't you just love it when reality far exceeds your sickest, wildest imagination allowing people to embrace their full potential?
Everything is possible in Greece!
We will continue to take pride in setting business landmarks no fire can ever burn. Just give us a few moments after any fire and the signs will sprout before you can say "reforestation"
If you think Swiss when it comes to private banking, we'll make you think Greek when it comes to the best in Real Estate Arsony!
I hope we've proven well by now that we are no match for any country on this one. Therefore we'll soon be 'branching' out overseas. Under the business eponym "Prometheus And Associates, Inc.gr" we plan to offer full arsony and forest -selling real estate services to Spain, France, California, Alaska, Siberia and wherever else the winds of profit will drive our fired-up business spirits.
Don't worry.
Wherever you live we promise to ars-on your forest estate to the ground and...Sell it baby.
Even if you live on the moon or the stars where there's no tree left anymore because we took all green out and sold it to the aliens, you can bet your Ars-On that... we Will sell your land!
Be Happy folks.
It's all Burn and Sell. Made in Greece!
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
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