Toxic Asset ruminations...

Hmmm, what shall we do with the financial so-called Toxic Assets?

a) bury them?
b) send them to space?
c) re-cycle them?
d) derive them?
e) re-rederive them?

Well!

Ok, a few hints before you make your pick

Choices d and e are sarcastic (as if the phrase Toxic Asset isn't). They were added to bring the number of multiple choices to 5, so it really comes down to a, b and c...

What do we usually do with things toxic when we also happen to view them as assets?

Obviously and despite the trillion dollar bailouts, it seems we can't afford to send them to outer space, otherwise Obama would have put NASA in charge, not Geithner.

Option b gets eliminated. So b as it may, we are left with options a and c. Now we have a real di-lemma!

If something is toxic, is it an asset or waste?

That's a tough one and goes beyond mere semantics. It depends really. If the waste is human or animal, it still is toxic but can safely and productively be recycled. Shit happens all the time, but it's good for you. Human shit goes into the ground and cow farts up the sky where they eventually get aircycled or if they can escape earth's gravity they might economically dissolve their way into outer space (can cow or any farts really escape earth's gravity??)

But seriously now, if the waste Is nuclear we don't recycle it, we insulate it and bury it as deep as we can.

So, where does that leave us in terms of our beautifully aromatic current predicament?

If it's shit, it Is an Asset because it can be Recycled. But if it's Nuclear it definitely Is Non-Recyclable Waste. So, which Is it we are dealing with here?

Before you say they are both shit anyway, ask yourself:

Even if it's shit, how much shit can we really take before it becomes detrimental to our health?

Perhaps until the coroner determines toxicity levels as cause of death, we might be better off calling them shitty assets and stick with the recycling for now.

Or, perhaps the coroners might be the first to go from too much shit in our media, so we might never find out what it was that caused Our going next!

a or c?

Pick your favorite answer but even if it's a, don't stop recycling your toxic assets.

So long as you call them assets, there will always be people willing to take your shit and pass it around!

Our media is so brilliant, isn't it??

Toxic Asset My Ass!

Perhaps, if Bush and Obama had named it TAMA instead of TARP, we might have smelled the humor and seen better results...

Perhaps!

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