Acceptable nouns for me include: twat, prick, dick, bastard, bitch, douche. Carpet muncher and butt pirate (although of course, that is offensive to pirates) are also admissible. This is useful when someone cuts you off while stuck/driving in traffic, when you find out that your girlfriend is cheating (unless of course it's with another woman), or if someone stabs you in the thigh with a steak knife.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
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