Embarrassing noises in public restrooms

Everyone knows of the embarrassment of which I speak. You have gingerly walked into a public restroom with an uncontrollable urge to liberate that which can no longer be left in bondage. You take your place among the many seats which are given, however, just as you are about to give in, an innocent bystander walks in. He himself feeling the same urges for liberation unknowingly takes a seat within a distance that both of you are uncomfortable with. Now the pain of silence sets in, who is first to fire? Solution:

Although some public restrooms attempt to get around this problem by playing music, etc. the music which they play may drown out the noise to some degree but it is not enough to ease the situation. Therefore, I suggest a different kind of music for public restrooms...let's call it bathroom break music.

Imagine a recording of all the great noises that come from bathrooms played over the loud speaker--the beautiful harmony of flatulence, urine and defecation pouring forth. The users are suddenly at ease, no longer can they distinguish their own noises from that of the music.

http://www.thinkaloo.com