laplord

title reserved for people who use their laptop as originally intended, on the lap! there are so many kinds of laplords depending on where one's strong preference for lapwork lies, e.g. one can be an airport laplord, a park bench laplord, a home laplord, a bed and sofa laplord, an armchair laplord, a carpet laplord, a toilet seat laplord and so forth...the laplord is identified by his strong dislike of all flat cold and non-human surfaces on which to place his pet and a feeling of utter joy and happiness when he does so on his lap. excuse me for a moment, I must flush the toilet...

ok the laplord, in other words, is a very sensitive creature. after prolonged petting and depending on the machine's fitness and capacity to exhale, streams of warm air are felt on his knees and warm up his heart. the laplord is cozy, homy and very loyal. for instance, he never pets with more petite possessions such as mobile phones and handheld devices or big elephant creatures such as desktops. praise the laplord for his virtue and unconditional love to his creature!

http://www.thinkaloo.com