Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Squat Teams

According to Ayatollah Khomeiny's Political Philosophical, Social and Religious principles: "When defecating or urinating, one must squat in such a way as neither to face Mecca nor to turn one's back upon it." How serious are they about it? How do we know? Do toilets have chalk drawings showing proper squat? What if they don't?

Does the devout muslim carry a compass that beeps when facing the wrong direction? Do Squat Teams sweep and clean each and every WC? How do they contact the raid? Must they face Mecca or turn their back upon it? And just how do they reprimand the sinner?

Say he's stuck in the toilet seat facing Mecca, does he get rescued immediately? Or left in the seat for hours and days as punishment? Does sainthood require an impeccable squat record? Are sins of squat squashed, washed away or flushed down the pipe following confession?

A torrent of very important political, philosophical, social and religious questions springs to mind as one takes a deep squat into the teachings of the Ayatollah...you know in a way that neither faces nor turns away from Mecca :)

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