Bribe the pastor to agree to the ceremony without asking you to sign any paper. If there's no paper signed then legally the marriage never happened even though the ceremony took place and everyone thinks you're married. I don't know why anyone would do such a scam. It only makes sense if one doesn't want to marry but must appear that they did.
http://thinkaloo.com
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Marry in Heaven
Sort of. Since for most people Heaven is imagined as a place to be found somewhere up in the sky, I suggest we solemnly pause and give some thought to the idea of organizing wedding ceremonies up in the sky. Skydiving priests, a nicely decorated plane with large windows and a few weeks of skydiving training for the couple and guests to replace months of wed planning on the ground. Before the vows are given and the couple's ready to kiss, the door opens and everyone goes out the door. When the priest says, 'And now I pronounce you husband and wife', the parachute opens and the groom may kiss the bride all the way to the ground...
http://www.thinkaloo.com
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
LOVE DETECTOR TEST
How many people actually marry for genuine love and not for other reasons?
Imagine if everyone had to sit a love detector test, which, like a lie detector test, would be wired up to a machine and asked questions about their true intentions in marriage and find out whether their goals are conflicting. If one or both of the couple scores less than 80%, they have to then sit through mandatory couple counselling sessions to sort out their differences and work out whether each person has the ability to fulfill the other person's needs.
Some common examples of reasons people seek marriage other than love:
- Money/Lifestyle/Status
- "I want a baby!!!"
- "I'm getting old"
- "I can't do better so I'll have to settle for him/her"
- "I want someone to make me happy (because I don't know how to be happy otherwise!")
- All of the above
Then there's the most common one that many mistake for genuine love (the kind that makes for a long-term fulfilling marriage). This is the endorphin-charged "head in the clouds" in love feeling, which is just a temporary state. People who thrive on this buzz are the serial brides and grooms, who the moment they find this feeling, feel the desire to rush down the aisle of marriage.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Imagine if everyone had to sit a love detector test, which, like a lie detector test, would be wired up to a machine and asked questions about their true intentions in marriage and find out whether their goals are conflicting. If one or both of the couple scores less than 80%, they have to then sit through mandatory couple counselling sessions to sort out their differences and work out whether each person has the ability to fulfill the other person's needs.
Some common examples of reasons people seek marriage other than love:
- Money/Lifestyle/Status
- "I want a baby!!!"
- "I'm getting old"
- "I can't do better so I'll have to settle for him/her"
- "I want someone to make me happy (because I don't know how to be happy otherwise!")
- All of the above
Then there's the most common one that many mistake for genuine love (the kind that makes for a long-term fulfilling marriage). This is the endorphin-charged "head in the clouds" in love feeling, which is just a temporary state. People who thrive on this buzz are the serial brides and grooms, who the moment they find this feeling, feel the desire to rush down the aisle of marriage.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
you just broke up
How long is it acceptable to you that your EX needs to wait before he/she has sex? Who cares right? Why would you want to know that your EX had sex in the first place?
Well, if it wasn't your decision you may care about it. It depends on what the two of you had. For some people even next day is okay. For me after something special it could be months, even years
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Well, if it wasn't your decision you may care about it. It depends on what the two of you had. For some people even next day is okay. For me after something special it could be months, even years
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Questioning our social habits
I've often wondered why our thought process is backwards in the ways we celebrate funerals and weddings. You would think that monetary gifts would be given in times of death when it's needed more since the income of a family has decreased. Instead, however, we give monetary gifts in times of marriage even though the family's income has increased.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Monday, April 27, 2009
Till Death Do Us Part
If I take this vow and have a happy marriage that I want to keep in heaven, do I have to remarry? What if I die before all my friends do and I can't invite them to the wedding? Who would I invite then? Strangels? And what if I can't afford the divine ceremony? A happy marriage should last forever. The vows changed to "For Better or Worse, For Life And Death...Till Heaven or Hell Together for Ever" :)
http://www.thinkaloo.com
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Fixed term marriages
Here is a very interesting article i read on the concept of fixed term marriages:
Marry with a fixed-term contract, not for 'til death do us part
Article from: The Courier-Mail
written by Helen Goltz
April 24, 2009
ACCORDING to the Australian Bureau of Statistics it appears that lifelong marriages are becoming a thing of the past. Few marry for life any more.
Thirty-two per cent of divorces involved separation within the first five years of marriage, and 22 per cent within five to nine years of marriage.
We have fixed term-contracts for the buying of property, cars and insurance, but there is only one contract available for marriage and it is for life. Is it time to consider introducing fixed-term marriage contracts?
The fixed-term contract is not meant to be a "quick fix" or an "easy out".
It would allow for the celebration of the renewal of vows after a five-year or 10-year term and encourage partners to work towards maintaining a good relationship in effect, it opens communication akin to a marriage performance review.
Or it would allow for the marriage to be dissolved by completing an acceptable contract term, without the shame and stigma associated with the failure of a marriage.
So why bother getting married at all? Because inherently we want to believe that we are making a commitment for life. Surely no one enters a marriage with a view to "give it a shot".
We stand in front of friends, family, even God and promise "until death do us part" and, at the time, we believe it. This only adds to the sense of failure when we can't deliver this promise.
It's a simple process: the standard certificate of marriage becomes a five-year contract. The marriage celebrant would continue to retain a copy for their records; forward the certificate to the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages for the registration of the marriage; and provide the marrying couple with a copy.
The marriage licence would clearly state the start and dissolution date for the five-year term.
The marriage contract dissolves if the parties do not "apply again". This eliminates the stress of dissolving the marriage by having to reopen wounds one year later, file papers together and be issued divorce papers.
The celebration is in the renewing, what better excuse for a party and family gathering?
The marrying couple are responsible for monitoring the date of renewal, signing the renewal form, having it witnessed by a Justice of the Peace and returning the form to the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages.
Perhaps when a couple completes a 10-year marriage term (two five-year consecutive contracts), they could opt to undertake an "eternity" contract.
And what about the children? Divorces are happening irrespective of the family unit. The proportion of divorces involving children was 49.3 per cent in 2007 (ABS). Is a fixed-term marriage contract likely to increase this statistic? Are parents more likely to stay together for the children if they have a traditional marriage licence?
According to Families in Australia: 2008 (released by the Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet), marriage bears a less direct relationship to having children.
By 2026, couples without children are projected by the ABS to be the most common type of family in Australia (44 per cent of all families).
We are a society that has adapted to change: divorce, work contracts, the internet, SMS text, email, digital television, water restrictions and much more.
Eventually a generation may only know of one type of marriage contract: fixed-term.
Have your say: What's the ideal term for a marriage contract?
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Marry with a fixed-term contract, not for 'til death do us part
Article from: The Courier-Mail
written by Helen Goltz
April 24, 2009
ACCORDING to the Australian Bureau of Statistics it appears that lifelong marriages are becoming a thing of the past. Few marry for life any more.
Thirty-two per cent of divorces involved separation within the first five years of marriage, and 22 per cent within five to nine years of marriage.
We have fixed term-contracts for the buying of property, cars and insurance, but there is only one contract available for marriage and it is for life. Is it time to consider introducing fixed-term marriage contracts?
The fixed-term contract is not meant to be a "quick fix" or an "easy out".
It would allow for the celebration of the renewal of vows after a five-year or 10-year term and encourage partners to work towards maintaining a good relationship in effect, it opens communication akin to a marriage performance review.
Or it would allow for the marriage to be dissolved by completing an acceptable contract term, without the shame and stigma associated with the failure of a marriage.
So why bother getting married at all? Because inherently we want to believe that we are making a commitment for life. Surely no one enters a marriage with a view to "give it a shot".
We stand in front of friends, family, even God and promise "until death do us part" and, at the time, we believe it. This only adds to the sense of failure when we can't deliver this promise.
It's a simple process: the standard certificate of marriage becomes a five-year contract. The marriage celebrant would continue to retain a copy for their records; forward the certificate to the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages for the registration of the marriage; and provide the marrying couple with a copy.
The marriage licence would clearly state the start and dissolution date for the five-year term.
The marriage contract dissolves if the parties do not "apply again". This eliminates the stress of dissolving the marriage by having to reopen wounds one year later, file papers together and be issued divorce papers.
The celebration is in the renewing, what better excuse for a party and family gathering?
The marrying couple are responsible for monitoring the date of renewal, signing the renewal form, having it witnessed by a Justice of the Peace and returning the form to the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages.
Perhaps when a couple completes a 10-year marriage term (two five-year consecutive contracts), they could opt to undertake an "eternity" contract.
And what about the children? Divorces are happening irrespective of the family unit. The proportion of divorces involving children was 49.3 per cent in 2007 (ABS). Is a fixed-term marriage contract likely to increase this statistic? Are parents more likely to stay together for the children if they have a traditional marriage licence?
According to Families in Australia: 2008 (released by the Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet), marriage bears a less direct relationship to having children.
By 2026, couples without children are projected by the ABS to be the most common type of family in Australia (44 per cent of all families).
We are a society that has adapted to change: divorce, work contracts, the internet, SMS text, email, digital television, water restrictions and much more.
Eventually a generation may only know of one type of marriage contract: fixed-term.
Have your say: What's the ideal term for a marriage contract?
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Same-day divorce!
How about a same-day divorce service for marriages that are not contracted on a fixed-term basis? The application could be made online and the divorce issued instantly even if both parties do not consent to it. Whatever disputes the couple might have (money, children custody etc) they can be resolved in the court and take as much time is usually needed but from the day the divorce is issued the couple is no longer considered married under the law.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Marriage Degree
since nearly half of marriages end in divorce, wouldn't it make sense for couples wanting to get married be required to do a course? in the catholic church it is required for couples to do some sort of course, but i have no idea what's involved since i've never married. apart from the obvious subject of effective communication, including how to read the subtleties of male and female communication, couples could also undergo therapy*, both individually and as a couple. since therapy is effective only after long-term treatment, the course would require, say, 4 years, after which it will earn the couple a degree.
* since a lot of behaviours are learned from negative childhood experiences, negative reactions are commonly transferred into adulthood onto loved ones, most commonly the spouse. the skills they learn would then flow on to their future children and be beneficial for society as a whole.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
* since a lot of behaviours are learned from negative childhood experiences, negative reactions are commonly transferred into adulthood onto loved ones, most commonly the spouse. the skills they learn would then flow on to their future children and be beneficial for society as a whole.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Good Relationship Banking
I have been doing some re-reading of a favorite book of mine "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman. In one of the chapters it talks about John Gottman, a University of Washington psychologist who has charted the emotional ecology of marriage with such precision that, in one study, he was able to predict which couples seen in his lab would divorce within 3 years with 94% accuracy!!! This is how he does it:
While the couples talk, sensors record the slightest flux in their physiology; a second-by-second analysis of their facial expressions (using the system for reading emotions developed by Paul Ekman) detects the most fleeting and subtle nuance of feeling. The result is akin to an emotional X-ray of the marriage.
What does this have to do with banking you might be thinking. Well, this is my thought.
Although it would be good for all couples to go through such emotional analysis of their relationship/marriage, we can't force people to do it. What we could do is to give every couple a financial incentive to try it.
Set up a new type of bank that grants loans to married couples on the condition that they pass John Gottman's test. If your marriage is proven to have a 94% chance to succeed and doesn't lead to a divorce, it's probably a good chance that the couple will work well with each other to solve out financial difficulties that arise in the future.
I don't mean to suggest that all married couples that stay together will fully repay their loans but the premise is that loans to couples who can stay together and solve their problems in ways that are not destructive can be more reliable.
It's just another metric to add to the decision to grant a loan if you are a bank. I admit it is an unusual practice/metric to add. But if good relationships lead to less loan delinquency and this metric is set as a condition before granting a loan, it will also bring social good in addition to more reliable profits for banks.
In the midst of the worst credit crisis and major scams such as the Madoff scandal, a lot of people talk about going back to the basics of banking, building anew relationships of trust. Investment banking used to be described as relationship banking in the not too distant past. Making loans to couples whose relationship is good can be Good Relationship Banking in the most literal sense of the term.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
While the couples talk, sensors record the slightest flux in their physiology; a second-by-second analysis of their facial expressions (using the system for reading emotions developed by Paul Ekman) detects the most fleeting and subtle nuance of feeling. The result is akin to an emotional X-ray of the marriage.
What does this have to do with banking you might be thinking. Well, this is my thought.
Although it would be good for all couples to go through such emotional analysis of their relationship/marriage, we can't force people to do it. What we could do is to give every couple a financial incentive to try it.
Set up a new type of bank that grants loans to married couples on the condition that they pass John Gottman's test. If your marriage is proven to have a 94% chance to succeed and doesn't lead to a divorce, it's probably a good chance that the couple will work well with each other to solve out financial difficulties that arise in the future.
I don't mean to suggest that all married couples that stay together will fully repay their loans but the premise is that loans to couples who can stay together and solve their problems in ways that are not destructive can be more reliable.
It's just another metric to add to the decision to grant a loan if you are a bank. I admit it is an unusual practice/metric to add. But if good relationships lead to less loan delinquency and this metric is set as a condition before granting a loan, it will also bring social good in addition to more reliable profits for banks.
In the midst of the worst credit crisis and major scams such as the Madoff scandal, a lot of people talk about going back to the basics of banking, building anew relationships of trust. Investment banking used to be described as relationship banking in the not too distant past. Making loans to couples whose relationship is good can be Good Relationship Banking in the most literal sense of the term.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Saturday, April 4, 2009
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