The most Delectable Female Chocolate Mousse!!

Are you infatuated with your new girlfriend? Is she sexy hot dark skin and loves to eat chocolate? Is she in your mind all the time? Does it feel you will never have enough of her, ever? Is she a source of great inspiration in your daily life? Tell her what you think of her. Tell her that she is so much more than just an ordinary muse for you, tell her that because of her being so yummy and delicious you think of her as your 'most delectable female chocolate mousse' you ever had. She'll love the compliment. In a moment of inspiration, I told that to my girlfriend this morning and it aroused never-ending blissful desires. The chocolate is still dripping off me waiting to be lickspired...:)

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A New Year lovers message

If you are in a long distance relationship consider sending her this message for the New Year:

'2008 wishes and hopes have now passed most of them hopefully fulfilled or still renewable. 2009 new ones I'll inspire next in your beautiful big heart. 2009 new desires I'll soon be carving into your gorgeous figure so that we can fulfill them all together one by one as the the New Year ushers in 3 2 1...Happy New Year!'

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you just broke up

How long is it acceptable to you that your EX needs to wait before he/she has sex? Who cares right? Why would you want to know that your EX had sex in the first place?

Well, if it wasn't your decision you may care about it. It depends on what the two of you had. For some people even next day is okay. For me after something special it could be months, even years

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When you break up from a relationship

Do you eventually get rid of all the items that associate with your ex? Usually, how soon after the break up do you think it's a good idea to get rid of any references to the relationship that personal items represent?

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Good Relationship Banking

I have been doing some re-reading of a favorite book of mine "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman. In one of the chapters it talks about John Gottman, a University of Washington psychologist who has charted the emotional ecology of marriage with such precision that, in one study, he was able to predict which couples seen in his lab would divorce within 3 years with 94% accuracy!!! This is how he does it:

While the couples talk, sensors record the slightest flux in their physiology; a second-by-second analysis of their facial expressions (using the system for reading emotions developed by Paul Ekman) detects the most fleeting and subtle nuance of feeling. The result is akin to an emotional X-ray of the marriage.

What does this have to do with banking you might be thinking. Well, this is my thought.

Although it would be good for all couples to go through such emotional analysis of their relationship/marriage, we can't force people to do it. What we could do is to give every couple a financial incentive to try it.

Set up a new type of bank that grants loans to married couples on the condition that they pass John Gottman's test. If your marriage is proven to have a 94% chance to succeed and doesn't lead to a divorce, it's probably a good chance that the couple will work well with each other to solve out financial difficulties that arise in the future.

I don't mean to suggest that all married couples that stay together will fully repay their loans but the premise is that loans to couples who can stay together and solve their problems in ways that are not destructive can be more reliable.

It's just another metric to add to the decision to grant a loan if you are a bank. I admit it is an unusual practice/metric to add. But if good relationships lead to less loan delinquency and this metric is set as a condition before granting a loan, it will also bring social good in addition to more reliable profits for banks.

In the midst of the worst credit crisis and major scams such as the Madoff scandal, a lot of people talk about going back to the basics of banking, building anew relationships of trust. Investment banking used to be described as relationship banking in the not too distant past. Making loans to couples whose relationship is good can be Good Relationship Banking in the most literal sense of the term.

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Love without compatibility. Is it enough?

A lot of people go through relationships where they feel genuine love for their partner but at some point they realize that they are not compatible in terms of personality. I often wonder, is love enough to keep a relationship or is being compatible more important? I think to be able to live a non-dysfunctional and happy life together, compatibility is required. On the other hand, if one is compatible with someone but doesn't feel deep love for him or her, is it enough to guarantee a happy and functional relationship? This thought always intrigues me because I'm not sure what the answer is.

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Compatibility without love. Does it work?

This is the second poll from my previous posting about 'Love without compatibility' (http://www.thinkaloo.com/ideas/view/view_idea.php?id=1442) I would like to ask here the reverse. Is compatibility without love enough to make a relationship work? If you voted in the other poll please vote in this one too. Thank you.

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