Organisations use IQ tests and other like tests as a means to assess candidates' suitability for a job. Why don't social matchmaking services use this technique to rate a person's emotional wellbeing and their suitability for a healthy relationship. It can be an option and if the other person is hesitant to take the test, that could already be an indication that they have something to hide. The other person who wants to find out doesn't have to be an expert in the field either, as they can just be given a summary on whether this person is reliable, genuine and suited to their needs. Current matchmaking tests, I assume, just judge suitability by comparing interests, hobbies etc. Better to have a more in-depth psychological analysis to determine true compatibility.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
LOVE DETECTOR TEST
How many people actually marry for genuine love and not for other reasons?
Imagine if everyone had to sit a love detector test, which, like a lie detector test, would be wired up to a machine and asked questions about their true intentions in marriage and find out whether their goals are conflicting. If one or both of the couple scores less than 80%, they have to then sit through mandatory couple counselling sessions to sort out their differences and work out whether each person has the ability to fulfill the other person's needs.
Some common examples of reasons people seek marriage other than love:
- Money/Lifestyle/Status
- "I want a baby!!!"
- "I'm getting old"
- "I can't do better so I'll have to settle for him/her"
- "I want someone to make me happy (because I don't know how to be happy otherwise!")
- All of the above
Then there's the most common one that many mistake for genuine love (the kind that makes for a long-term fulfilling marriage). This is the endorphin-charged "head in the clouds" in love feeling, which is just a temporary state. People who thrive on this buzz are the serial brides and grooms, who the moment they find this feeling, feel the desire to rush down the aisle of marriage.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Imagine if everyone had to sit a love detector test, which, like a lie detector test, would be wired up to a machine and asked questions about their true intentions in marriage and find out whether their goals are conflicting. If one or both of the couple scores less than 80%, they have to then sit through mandatory couple counselling sessions to sort out their differences and work out whether each person has the ability to fulfill the other person's needs.
Some common examples of reasons people seek marriage other than love:
- Money/Lifestyle/Status
- "I want a baby!!!"
- "I'm getting old"
- "I can't do better so I'll have to settle for him/her"
- "I want someone to make me happy (because I don't know how to be happy otherwise!")
- All of the above
Then there's the most common one that many mistake for genuine love (the kind that makes for a long-term fulfilling marriage). This is the endorphin-charged "head in the clouds" in love feeling, which is just a temporary state. People who thrive on this buzz are the serial brides and grooms, who the moment they find this feeling, feel the desire to rush down the aisle of marriage.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Remarriage. Why is there a limit?
I'm having this debate in my head...Why is there a limit as to how many times a person can get remarried? I don't see the reason for setting limits. Why is a limit of 3 times better than a limit of 5 or 10 times? What's the point of setting limits on human relationships? Shouldn't people be free to arrange them in any way they want?
http://www.thinkaloo.com
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Fixed term marriages
Here is a very interesting article i read on the concept of fixed term marriages:
Marry with a fixed-term contract, not for 'til death do us part
Article from: The Courier-Mail
written by Helen Goltz
April 24, 2009
ACCORDING to the Australian Bureau of Statistics it appears that lifelong marriages are becoming a thing of the past. Few marry for life any more.
Thirty-two per cent of divorces involved separation within the first five years of marriage, and 22 per cent within five to nine years of marriage.
We have fixed term-contracts for the buying of property, cars and insurance, but there is only one contract available for marriage and it is for life. Is it time to consider introducing fixed-term marriage contracts?
The fixed-term contract is not meant to be a "quick fix" or an "easy out".
It would allow for the celebration of the renewal of vows after a five-year or 10-year term and encourage partners to work towards maintaining a good relationship in effect, it opens communication akin to a marriage performance review.
Or it would allow for the marriage to be dissolved by completing an acceptable contract term, without the shame and stigma associated with the failure of a marriage.
So why bother getting married at all? Because inherently we want to believe that we are making a commitment for life. Surely no one enters a marriage with a view to "give it a shot".
We stand in front of friends, family, even God and promise "until death do us part" and, at the time, we believe it. This only adds to the sense of failure when we can't deliver this promise.
It's a simple process: the standard certificate of marriage becomes a five-year contract. The marriage celebrant would continue to retain a copy for their records; forward the certificate to the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages for the registration of the marriage; and provide the marrying couple with a copy.
The marriage licence would clearly state the start and dissolution date for the five-year term.
The marriage contract dissolves if the parties do not "apply again". This eliminates the stress of dissolving the marriage by having to reopen wounds one year later, file papers together and be issued divorce papers.
The celebration is in the renewing, what better excuse for a party and family gathering?
The marrying couple are responsible for monitoring the date of renewal, signing the renewal form, having it witnessed by a Justice of the Peace and returning the form to the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages.
Perhaps when a couple completes a 10-year marriage term (two five-year consecutive contracts), they could opt to undertake an "eternity" contract.
And what about the children? Divorces are happening irrespective of the family unit. The proportion of divorces involving children was 49.3 per cent in 2007 (ABS). Is a fixed-term marriage contract likely to increase this statistic? Are parents more likely to stay together for the children if they have a traditional marriage licence?
According to Families in Australia: 2008 (released by the Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet), marriage bears a less direct relationship to having children.
By 2026, couples without children are projected by the ABS to be the most common type of family in Australia (44 per cent of all families).
We are a society that has adapted to change: divorce, work contracts, the internet, SMS text, email, digital television, water restrictions and much more.
Eventually a generation may only know of one type of marriage contract: fixed-term.
Have your say: What's the ideal term for a marriage contract?
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Marry with a fixed-term contract, not for 'til death do us part
Article from: The Courier-Mail
written by Helen Goltz
April 24, 2009
ACCORDING to the Australian Bureau of Statistics it appears that lifelong marriages are becoming a thing of the past. Few marry for life any more.
Thirty-two per cent of divorces involved separation within the first five years of marriage, and 22 per cent within five to nine years of marriage.
We have fixed term-contracts for the buying of property, cars and insurance, but there is only one contract available for marriage and it is for life. Is it time to consider introducing fixed-term marriage contracts?
The fixed-term contract is not meant to be a "quick fix" or an "easy out".
It would allow for the celebration of the renewal of vows after a five-year or 10-year term and encourage partners to work towards maintaining a good relationship in effect, it opens communication akin to a marriage performance review.
Or it would allow for the marriage to be dissolved by completing an acceptable contract term, without the shame and stigma associated with the failure of a marriage.
So why bother getting married at all? Because inherently we want to believe that we are making a commitment for life. Surely no one enters a marriage with a view to "give it a shot".
We stand in front of friends, family, even God and promise "until death do us part" and, at the time, we believe it. This only adds to the sense of failure when we can't deliver this promise.
It's a simple process: the standard certificate of marriage becomes a five-year contract. The marriage celebrant would continue to retain a copy for their records; forward the certificate to the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages for the registration of the marriage; and provide the marrying couple with a copy.
The marriage licence would clearly state the start and dissolution date for the five-year term.
The marriage contract dissolves if the parties do not "apply again". This eliminates the stress of dissolving the marriage by having to reopen wounds one year later, file papers together and be issued divorce papers.
The celebration is in the renewing, what better excuse for a party and family gathering?
The marrying couple are responsible for monitoring the date of renewal, signing the renewal form, having it witnessed by a Justice of the Peace and returning the form to the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages.
Perhaps when a couple completes a 10-year marriage term (two five-year consecutive contracts), they could opt to undertake an "eternity" contract.
And what about the children? Divorces are happening irrespective of the family unit. The proportion of divorces involving children was 49.3 per cent in 2007 (ABS). Is a fixed-term marriage contract likely to increase this statistic? Are parents more likely to stay together for the children if they have a traditional marriage licence?
According to Families in Australia: 2008 (released by the Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet), marriage bears a less direct relationship to having children.
By 2026, couples without children are projected by the ABS to be the most common type of family in Australia (44 per cent of all families).
We are a society that has adapted to change: divorce, work contracts, the internet, SMS text, email, digital television, water restrictions and much more.
Eventually a generation may only know of one type of marriage contract: fixed-term.
Have your say: What's the ideal term for a marriage contract?
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Why women should be with younger men
Statistically speaking, women tend to live, on average, 10 years more than men do. If the whole point of being with a man for the rest of your life is to live your whole lives together, then women should choose to be with someone who is at least 10 years younger than they are but do so no earlier than their mid-30s. That's because men in their 20s and early 30s are still boys. In many cultures the opposite takes place, men marry women much younger their age which explains why there are so many more women widowed in old age than men. I believe it's smarter to have it the other way!
http://www.thinkaloo.com
http://www.thinkaloo.com
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