Fart Up your tires!!

This posting requires that you picture it as you read. Keep your nose open too. Now imagine you could use your farts to inflate your car tires. Imagine a pipe wired into the seat with an opening on the seat's surface to carry the hot gas inside.

If the gas doesn't exit fast enough or with enough force a small pump can help suck it into the tires.

On the plus side a patent like this eliminates the need to open the window of your car to ventilate the space inside and helps avoid embarrassment if others are in it as well.

The air pressure inside the tires always stays at the right amount which keeps the car in better balance.

And if the idea works well in cars it can be scaled next to buses and planes where the higher and more diverse the supply of gas the better the condition of the tires inside!

Before you get used to picturing this too much, let's see how much humor you can handle.

Say you're going to use this system in the future for your car. That by itself would mean you must have a good sense of humor. So why not display it with some kind of writing on the tires?

As you can see in the photos on the right, I made up four slogans you can put on your tires. Which one do you think better describes what will be happening inside your tires?

Vote Now!
:)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

whose fart was it?

for a laugh, when someone farts, oxygen masks get released. very appropriate for car, bus, train and elevator situations and for all public places. here's the funny little twist that turns the prank into an act of brilliance... everyone gets an oxygen mask except for the person who farted! (lol)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Did you fart?

Of course I did! Do you think I always smell like this??

hey guys, don't get too embarrassed if you happen to fart in public. use the above line and let the shame drop on others :)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Embarrassing noises in public restrooms

Everyone knows of the embarrassment of which I speak. You have gingerly walked into a public restroom with an uncontrollable urge to liberate that which can no longer be left in bondage. You take your place among the many seats which are given, however, just as you are about to give in, an innocent bystander walks in. He himself feeling the same urges for liberation unknowingly takes a seat within a distance that both of you are uncomfortable with. Now the pain of silence sets in, who is first to fire? Solution:

Although some public restrooms attempt to get around this problem by playing music, etc. the music which they play may drown out the noise to some degree but it is not enough to ease the situation. Therefore, I suggest a different kind of music for public restrooms...let's call it bathroom break music.

Imagine a recording of all the great noises that come from bathrooms played over the loud speaker--the beautiful harmony of flatulence, urine and defecation pouring forth. The users are suddenly at ease, no longer can they distinguish their own noises from that of the music.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Celebrity Sleep Recordings!

Wouldn't that be clever marketing and a good business idea? Celebrities are adored worldwide and the fans love to buy anything that relates to them, so why not audio recordings of them while they sleep? Weird fans can then play them when They go to sleep and experience sleep tele-vocality with their favorite celebrity. A few suggestions of mine to the concept. I recommend famous comedians keep the farting echoes, snoring cannot be edited out. Combine the above with falling off the bed sounds and the recordings will become top of the charts hits! :)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

If you fart and burp at the same time...

..would it make a vacuum in your tummy??

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Toxic Asset ruminations...

Hmmm, what shall we do with the financial so-called Toxic Assets?

a) bury them?
b) send them to space?
c) re-cycle them?
d) derive them?
e) re-rederive them?

Well!

Ok, a few hints before you make your pick

Choices d and e are sarcastic (as if the phrase Toxic Asset isn't). They were added to bring the number of multiple choices to 5, so it really comes down to a, b and c...

What do we usually do with things toxic when we also happen to view them as assets?

Obviously and despite the trillion dollar bailouts, it seems we can't afford to send them to outer space, otherwise Obama would have put NASA in charge, not Geithner.

Option b gets eliminated. So b as it may, we are left with options a and c. Now we have a real di-lemma!

If something is toxic, is it an asset or waste?

That's a tough one and goes beyond mere semantics. It depends really. If the waste is human or animal, it still is toxic but can safely and productively be recycled. Shit happens all the time, but it's good for you. Human shit goes into the ground and cow farts up the sky where they eventually get aircycled or if they can escape earth's gravity they might economically dissolve their way into outer space (can cow or any farts really escape earth's gravity??)

But seriously now, if the waste Is nuclear we don't recycle it, we insulate it and bury it as deep as we can.

So, where does that leave us in terms of our beautifully aromatic current predicament?

If it's shit, it Is an Asset because it can be Recycled. But if it's Nuclear it definitely Is Non-Recyclable Waste. So, which Is it we are dealing with here?

Before you say they are both shit anyway, ask yourself:

Even if it's shit, how much shit can we really take before it becomes detrimental to our health?

Perhaps until the coroner determines toxicity levels as cause of death, we might be better off calling them shitty assets and stick with the recycling for now.

Or, perhaps the coroners might be the first to go from too much shit in our media, so we might never find out what it was that caused Our going next!

a or c?

Pick your favorite answer but even if it's a, don't stop recycling your toxic assets.

So long as you call them assets, there will always be people willing to take your shit and pass it around!

Our media is so brilliant, isn't it??

Toxic Asset My Ass!

Perhaps, if Bush and Obama had named it TAMA instead of TARP, we might have smelled the humor and seen better results...

Perhaps!

www.thinkaloo.com