W.C. Feng Shui

Public toilets in most places are crap but there's an easy way to make some things in them more functional. You will receive the opposite of your iQ, a positive Qi as they call it in Feng Sui, if you place toilet paper in the door handle right in front of you rather than have it on the side or in the back. If Feng Shui is about arranging objects to help people achieve their goals, this is a master arrangement. Just make sure there's enough space between the door and the handle so that the toilet paper rolls smoothly. It's also handy if someone calls you and you need to take notes in a piece of paper :D

For better results also practice these ancient words of wisdom. Speak them loud as the crap sinks below.

Ba Zhai Crap Wu Xing Shit Baqua Flash Zuan Kong Fei Sink King Kong

These proven words will guarantee you more crap, better toilet paper use and they'll make your experience in the shit hole a mystery to others!

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Embarrassing noises in public restrooms

Everyone knows of the embarrassment of which I speak. You have gingerly walked into a public restroom with an uncontrollable urge to liberate that which can no longer be left in bondage. You take your place among the many seats which are given, however, just as you are about to give in, an innocent bystander walks in. He himself feeling the same urges for liberation unknowingly takes a seat within a distance that both of you are uncomfortable with. Now the pain of silence sets in, who is first to fire? Solution:

Although some public restrooms attempt to get around this problem by playing music, etc. the music which they play may drown out the noise to some degree but it is not enough to ease the situation. Therefore, I suggest a different kind of music for public restrooms...let's call it bathroom break music.

Imagine a recording of all the great noises that come from bathrooms played over the loud speaker--the beautiful harmony of flatulence, urine and defecation pouring forth. The users are suddenly at ease, no longer can they distinguish their own noises from that of the music.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Squat Teams

According to Ayatollah Khomeiny's Political Philosophical, Social and Religious principles: "When defecating or urinating, one must squat in such a way as neither to face Mecca nor to turn one's back upon it." How serious are they about it? How do we know? Do toilets have chalk drawings showing proper squat? What if they don't?

Does the devout muslim carry a compass that beeps when facing the wrong direction? Do Squat Teams sweep and clean each and every WC? How do they contact the raid? Must they face Mecca or turn their back upon it? And just how do they reprimand the sinner?

Say he's stuck in the toilet seat facing Mecca, does he get rescued immediately? Or left in the seat for hours and days as punishment? Does sainthood require an impeccable squat record? Are sins of squat squashed, washed away or flushed down the pipe following confession?

A torrent of very important political, philosophical, social and religious questions springs to mind as one takes a deep squat into the teachings of the Ayatollah...you know in a way that neither faces nor turns away from Mecca :)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

allow sex in public toilets?

like sex, a visit to the toilet requires that you unzip, undress, pull down, anyway expose private parts. like a visit to the toilet, sex is about discharge of body fluids so we call sex-in-toilet 'assisted discharge of body fluids'. that means new design for sex-allowed toilets. men and women sections are directly opposite and separate by door. in every toilet restroom there will be two doors, one to go in n out and one behind toilet seat to connect to opposite-sex section of the toilet building. if you want sex knock up the door behind toilet seat and ask 'may I assist with the discharge?' :lol)

www.thinkaloo.com