W.C. Feng Shui

Public toilets in most places are crap but there's an easy way to make some things in them more functional. You will receive the opposite of your iQ, a positive Qi as they call it in Feng Sui, if you place toilet paper in the door handle right in front of you rather than have it on the side or in the back. If Feng Shui is about arranging objects to help people achieve their goals, this is a master arrangement. Just make sure there's enough space between the door and the handle so that the toilet paper rolls smoothly. It's also handy if someone calls you and you need to take notes in a piece of paper :D

For better results also practice these ancient words of wisdom. Speak them loud as the crap sinks below.

Ba Zhai Crap Wu Xing Shit Baqua Flash Zuan Kong Fei Sink King Kong

These proven words will guarantee you more crap, better toilet paper use and they'll make your experience in the shit hole a mystery to others!

http://www.thinkaloo.com

toilet paper thoughts here

do you ever think of toilet paper? we use it so much it's a necessity. we love to abuse, scratch, stain, scrub and tarnish it, don't we? we molest rile and rag its lovely white color on a rolling basis every single day...if products had rights, toilet paper rights would by definition of use be absolutely shitty and toxic! perhaps if we could reverse the effects of use by coming up with a new kind of toilet paper that comes in crap color and switches to clean white after use. you know, it goes from maculate to immaculate and from molested black to extra virgin white. imagine swiping your... black with it and the paper comes out white instead. that would be The revolution in toilet paper rights!

http://www.thinkaloo.com

print media are suckers

they whine about losing business to GOOGLE and online media. NOBODY wants to buy your papers any more. if you want to stay in the paper business, print your news on toilet paper and distribute it daily to every public and private bathroom for a large discount to regular clean-ass paper. when i don't like what i read i can just wipe my ass with your crap and put it into good use. that's how i like to consume the tons of crap you're selling. i might consider using it to blow my nose too but that's only when you sell me something paperworthy.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Good logic, Crap logic, same thing?

It is said, 'When people are short of ideas, they are full of crap'. I don't know about you, but from my experience that's generally true. We know that it's also an axiom of logic that, 'if A then B, then if not B not A'. Reasoning logically, we can thus infer that, 'When people can't crap, they are full of ideas.' And I have been constipating for 3 days now and that's the best crap I can come up with? Why doesn't logic work when it comes to crap?

http://www.thinkaloo.com