print media are suckers

they whine about losing business to GOOGLE and online media. NOBODY wants to buy your papers any more. if you want to stay in the paper business, print your news on toilet paper and distribute it daily to every public and private bathroom for a large discount to regular clean-ass paper. when i don't like what i read i can just wipe my ass with your crap and put it into good use. that's how i like to consume the tons of crap you're selling. i might consider using it to blow my nose too but that's only when you sell me something paperworthy.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Ban metaphors??

I got into an argument by the elevator at my work with a girl from NY. She was rude and said to me 'Honey, you can kiss my ass if you like but what you're asking will never happen' She had a nice ass, so I went behind her, bent down and started kissing her ass on top of her skirt. She shocked and started screaming at me 'What are you doing, get off me, I'll sue you' then I said to her in my Belgian accent, you asked me to kiss your ass so I did. If you don't mean it don't ask for it. You're in Europe and you have nice ass, what do you expect? She can't sue me because she asked for it. See the metaphor trap?

http://www.thinkaloo.com