people who wear crocs...

they go on and on about how comfortable they are, and how it's supposedly odor resistant because it's made out of some kind of anti-bacterial foam. great point, dipshits!

you know what else crocs are resistant to? your getting laid just from the look of your shoes. that's right. they are very sex resistant, so if you want your shoes to serve as an excellent idiot barometer, keep wearing them.

http://thinkaloo.com

people who wear crocs...

they go on and on about how comfortable they are, and how it's supposedly odor resistant because it's made out of some kind of anti-bacterial foam. great point, dipshits! you know what else crocs are resistant to? your getting laid just from the look of your shoes. that's right. they are very sex resistant, so if you want your shoes to serve as an excellent idiot barometer, keep wearing them.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Fludicrous Masks

Oink! Don't you think people tend to panic over nothing? 60 cases in the U.S. is not a reason to walk around in masks. Thousands die every year from regular flu, so what makes 60 a pandemic? What's fludicrous is that people wearing masks touch everything with bare hands then reach under their masks to touch their face, scratch their nose, eat food, etc without washing hands or sanitizing. If you must wear the mask, wear the whole attire, you know gloves and stuff, buy the mask in different color to match the rest of your clothes and print your name on it. I think I want an array of them to match my outfits too.

Awww, we haven't had a proper media frenzy this year so they've got to do something!!

I think people like to think it's the end of everything. It all makes me laugh. Now watch. You're going to be the next victim.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

The GIA Bill of Regulations

How about we name the new laws that will be drafted to regulate the financial system in the US as the GIA Bill of Regulations? GIA will be the reverse of AIG's initials. The innovation in the acronym will be its dual use and multiple i-substitutes. How you read out GIA will depend on how effective the new laws will be in containing future greed and irresponsibility. If the GIA Bill of Regulations fails to restrain gambling and irresponsible risk, people can refer to it as Grow Irresponsibly America. The adverb 'Irresponsibly' can be substituted by any such words as illegitimately, illegally, insanely, inscrutably, incomprehensibly, idiotically, inattentively, ill-advisedly etc.

On the other hand, if the bill produces a stable, well-regulated financial system, people can refer to it as Grow Intelligently America with such i-substitutes as intelligently, insightfully, ideally, indefatigably, impressively etc. The name of the agency that will supervise the laws will be called, what else, Greed Intelligence Agency.

www.thinkaloo.com