If I owe my bank $10,000 it's definitely my problem but if I can't pay my bank back $2 billion I owe them, is it my problem or is it theirs? There's this saying that small is beautiful, but what's so beautiful if I am a small business owner who can't renegotiate the terms of a loan because it's my problem to come up with the money? Banks are the institutions who suck up to you when you owe a lot but expect you to suck up to them when you owe a little. So unfair and yet so true.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Showing posts with label bank. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bank. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
How smart can bankers be?
You think bankers have to be smart guys (to steal your money at least :-). I read the following incident, the french bank BBVA in Buenos Aires was undergoing restoration work and for that reason the owners of the bank decided to turn off alarms, disconnect circuit cameras and other security devices in order to make things easy for the workers. They were so smart that they didn't even bother to tell the local police station that the security would be turned off during the time of the restoration. So what happened? A bunch of more clever thieves dressed up in painters' uniform and wearing painters' masks, entered the bank pretending to do paint work and without any major trouble stole everything they could from it.
If bankers are so smart no wonder why we are in crisis.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
If bankers are so smart no wonder why we are in crisis.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Monday, August 24, 2009
How I saved my card but lost my finger!
The card looks exactly the same but uses fingerprint id technology anywhere on its surface. Once you hold it with your thumb it gets activated for no more than 1 minute which is enough time to be inserted in the ATM machine or be swiped. You still have to enter the pin but even if you enter it correctly the card can't be used if the fingerprint didn't match. Unintended consequences? Hmmm, let me think. Your card's safer but not your finger. Thieves inspired by Tarantino and desperate for your money might cut it and that bloody sucks :D
http://thinkaloo.com
http://thinkaloo.com
Monday, August 17, 2009
Let casino CEOs run banks!
A friend of mine who used to work for a bank that doesn't exist anymore used to tell me that a banker's real job is actually very very boring. Take deposits, give loans, call on borrowers to ask them to pay etc etc Yes really boring stuff. So when a banker is really bored he dreams of being in exotic places doing exotic things and then allows his in-house trader to design exotic trades and instruments for him. He used to say the only way to add spice to his job was to let bankers gamble selling it as 'financial innovation' which they did and here we are. So I wonder why not let casino CEOs run the remaining banks that are left? They're good at what they do, aren't they? When you go to a casino you always end up losing your money up to your pain point but the point is that the house Never goes bankrupt!! That's way better for the rest of us who are not gamblers, isn't it?
http://www.thinkaloo.com
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Toilet paper money
It's been suggested before only as a joke, now let me reiterate it as a half-joke. If printing money is the answer to massive debts and global deflation could we ask that central banks print money on toilet paper so that it's rendered useful if zimbabwe-style inflation sets in? If the quality of paper is smooth and rectum-friendly we won't need foreign exchange markets either. We can just barter, trade, swap, insure or invest in each country's toilet paper comparative advantage. And unlike forex markets, almost every single person in the world uses toilet paper. We're talking of a potential 7-billion-people-essentially-single-currency economy here. Keep it in mind please!
http://www.thinkaloo.com
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Thursday, July 23, 2009
madoff hitman fund for companies
the name for a hitman fund after bernard madoff. basically investors and shareholders in a company set aside money to pay hitmen to take out swindlers, crooks and fraudsters. make it a requirement for banks, hedge funds, insurance and investment companies of any kind. benefits? delivers swift justice and guarantees efficient functioning of the markets as fraudsters must think about their life before they decide to swindle.
usually the real culprits behind big-time frauds tend to write books, give seminars, stay famous and continue to live in luxury a few years after the scandal. so instead of innocent investors who have been defrauded committing suicide, how about the real culprits get punished for a change? the current state of affairs is pitiful. hitmen contracts must be written in the bylaws of companies and kick-in automatically. if they don't prevent people from committing fraud, they will apply rightful justice after!
http://www.thinkaloo.com
usually the real culprits behind big-time frauds tend to write books, give seminars, stay famous and continue to live in luxury a few years after the scandal. so instead of innocent investors who have been defrauded committing suicide, how about the real culprits get punished for a change? the current state of affairs is pitiful. hitmen contracts must be written in the bylaws of companies and kick-in automatically. if they don't prevent people from committing fraud, they will apply rightful justice after!
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Set your own credit card spending limits
The banks set the maximum amount of credit you can have but it be nice if they also gave their customers the option to set their own daily weekly or monthly spending limits. It can be offered as an extra service in the customer's online banking account. This way people can have more control over their spending.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Obama to Palestinians: Stop violence!
You may think Obama's message was good news for Israel, you may think that all Israelis will benefit by ending violence. Here are some facts about Israel's economy to inform your opinion in a way that is upsetting to us Israelis.
Israel has put counter-terrorism at the center of its export economy and its economy has been booming since September 2001.
Let's call it trickle-down war economics.
Israel is the world's 4th largest arms dealer in the world, larger than the UK. Its technology sector, much of it linked to security makes up 60% of all exports.
Israel has become a shopping mall for homeland security technologies all over the world.
Nice Systems, Verint, Comverse, SuperCom, Check Point, New Age Security Solutions, Instinctive Shooting International etc are just some of the world's best and largest homeland security companies.
A call made to the New York Police Department will be recorded and analyzed by technology created by Nice Systems, an Israeli firm. Images captured in the London tube system are recorded on Verint video surveillance cameras, owned by the Israeli firm Comverse.
These are but two examples. When it comes to defense and security technology, Israel is the "Made in China" story. Not just cheaper, but also made by the best in the world.
In view of the above, I hope you can now begin to understand why, when the war with Lebanon started in August 2006, the Tel Aviv stock exchange went up. In the final quarter of the same year, which had also included the bloody escalation in the West Bank and Gaza following the election of Hamas, Israel's economy grew by a staggering 8%.
Conflict and violence breeds more conflict and more violence and the need for better security everywhere in the world.
The conflict in Gaza and the West Bank is free advertising for Israeli security firms around the world. They are considered the experts and there is good reason for that. "Made in Israel" means tested in violence and proven to work.
Do you really think it is in Israel's economic interest for the Palestinians and other extremists to end all violence? Perhaps it might be.
But in the short-term, the answer is probably negative. If Israel can diversify its economy in the long term, then peace might have a better chance.
The world thinks the main obstacle is illegal settlements in the West Bank. It is definitely an issue but an easier one to solve from an economic point of view than diversifying the economy away from homeland security and defense spending and exports.
If a political deal is made, some of the illegal settlements can be sold out or rented to the new Palestinian owners who will buy them or rent them with loans and economic aid. Lavish economic compensation can entice Jewish settlers to relocate. Some of them will and some will have to be forced out.
But changing the structure of the Israeli economy can take years and it is a far more difficult task because it affects the economic well-being of a larger segment of Israel's population. The sad truth is that the Israeli economy, in its current structure, has an incentive to sponsor violence, not end it. It profits massively from it.
So for the time being, I am not very optimistic that there is the kind of economic change in the horizon to usher the kind of peace we can believe in.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Israel has put counter-terrorism at the center of its export economy and its economy has been booming since September 2001.
Let's call it trickle-down war economics.
Israel is the world's 4th largest arms dealer in the world, larger than the UK. Its technology sector, much of it linked to security makes up 60% of all exports.
Israel has become a shopping mall for homeland security technologies all over the world.
Nice Systems, Verint, Comverse, SuperCom, Check Point, New Age Security Solutions, Instinctive Shooting International etc are just some of the world's best and largest homeland security companies.
A call made to the New York Police Department will be recorded and analyzed by technology created by Nice Systems, an Israeli firm. Images captured in the London tube system are recorded on Verint video surveillance cameras, owned by the Israeli firm Comverse.
These are but two examples. When it comes to defense and security technology, Israel is the "Made in China" story. Not just cheaper, but also made by the best in the world.
In view of the above, I hope you can now begin to understand why, when the war with Lebanon started in August 2006, the Tel Aviv stock exchange went up. In the final quarter of the same year, which had also included the bloody escalation in the West Bank and Gaza following the election of Hamas, Israel's economy grew by a staggering 8%.
Conflict and violence breeds more conflict and more violence and the need for better security everywhere in the world.
The conflict in Gaza and the West Bank is free advertising for Israeli security firms around the world. They are considered the experts and there is good reason for that. "Made in Israel" means tested in violence and proven to work.
Do you really think it is in Israel's economic interest for the Palestinians and other extremists to end all violence? Perhaps it might be.
But in the short-term, the answer is probably negative. If Israel can diversify its economy in the long term, then peace might have a better chance.
The world thinks the main obstacle is illegal settlements in the West Bank. It is definitely an issue but an easier one to solve from an economic point of view than diversifying the economy away from homeland security and defense spending and exports.
If a political deal is made, some of the illegal settlements can be sold out or rented to the new Palestinian owners who will buy them or rent them with loans and economic aid. Lavish economic compensation can entice Jewish settlers to relocate. Some of them will and some will have to be forced out.
But changing the structure of the Israeli economy can take years and it is a far more difficult task because it affects the economic well-being of a larger segment of Israel's population. The sad truth is that the Israeli economy, in its current structure, has an incentive to sponsor violence, not end it. It profits massively from it.
So for the time being, I am not very optimistic that there is the kind of economic change in the horizon to usher the kind of peace we can believe in.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Scumbank
Now that Obama capped CEO compensation at $500,000, I am thinking of starting a new bank where Wall Street fat cats can park restricted stock bonuses, corporate jets, yachts and all sorts of ponzinous financial assets. Out of respect to the public, the bank's premises will be non-descript and decrepit-looking, the exact opposite of what a modern-day Poshbank would look like. Poshbanks are dead. Long leave my Scumbank in little Burglardeshi...
http://www.thinkaloo.com
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Why deposit money in the bank when you can print on-demand?
I was thinking, why doesn't it make sense to keep money under our mattresses? That's because it's inconvenient and not safe in the event of house theft. That's one reason we have banks. Since many banks were taken over by governments to survive the crisis, I figured there must be a way to deal with the inconvenience of having banks and the safety issue of keeping all our money with us be it under the mattress, inside it or over it. I mean, if we really wanted to do it, we could. Here's my thinking:
Banks are replaced with print-money government shops. Unlike a normal deposit bank, customers don't deposit money, they only withdraw using a regular ATM card. The print-money government shop won't keep stacks of money in a safe box. It will only print money for the customer who owns it. Its function is to print money on-demand!
That means that if you own $1 million dollars you can go to the print-money shop and get all your $1 million with you. But, you can't deposit it back.
Because you can't deposit it back, people will tend to print-withdraw only the amounts they need to carry their transactions.
The difference with a regular bank is that the customer doesn't have to worry that the bank might lose or run out of money since the only thing available in the government print-money shop will be printers. The printers will be the same kind of machines the FED uses to print money. The only run on the bank can be a manufacturing strike on paper or ink!
For the amount of remaining balance in your account you haven't printed yet, the government will offer you interest on it which will have to be slightly below the rates deposit banks currently charge and definitely below the rates the government borrows in the form of bonds and T-bills from national and international investors.
My proposed architecture will probably revolutionize bank robberies too. The challenge won't be to break into and out of the bank but to forge money. Remember the movie 'Catch me if you can' with Leonardo di Caprio? That's how bank robbers will operate in the new system.
Or if they know you went to the money-print government shop and withdrew all your millions to stash it under your mattress, they might pay you a visit when you're out.
So don't hoard your cash in your house, just print it on-demand! :)
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Banks are replaced with print-money government shops. Unlike a normal deposit bank, customers don't deposit money, they only withdraw using a regular ATM card. The print-money government shop won't keep stacks of money in a safe box. It will only print money for the customer who owns it. Its function is to print money on-demand!
That means that if you own $1 million dollars you can go to the print-money shop and get all your $1 million with you. But, you can't deposit it back.
Because you can't deposit it back, people will tend to print-withdraw only the amounts they need to carry their transactions.
The difference with a regular bank is that the customer doesn't have to worry that the bank might lose or run out of money since the only thing available in the government print-money shop will be printers. The printers will be the same kind of machines the FED uses to print money. The only run on the bank can be a manufacturing strike on paper or ink!
For the amount of remaining balance in your account you haven't printed yet, the government will offer you interest on it which will have to be slightly below the rates deposit banks currently charge and definitely below the rates the government borrows in the form of bonds and T-bills from national and international investors.
My proposed architecture will probably revolutionize bank robberies too. The challenge won't be to break into and out of the bank but to forge money. Remember the movie 'Catch me if you can' with Leonardo di Caprio? That's how bank robbers will operate in the new system.
Or if they know you went to the money-print government shop and withdrew all your millions to stash it under your mattress, they might pay you a visit when you're out.
So don't hoard your cash in your house, just print it on-demand! :)
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Friday, May 1, 2009
Take year-off loans to travel
How about a new type of loan for students or workers who want to take a year off (or more) in a foreign country and work as volunteers for a cause? The loan will be repaid in work hours, not in cash. The applicant will indicate how many hours he is willing to work a day and based on the minimum wage for the country calculate the total amount of the loan for the specified duration.
The bank or other organization disperses the loan in daily installments based on whether the applicant checked for work or not that day.
This is what it might make sense for a bank to do that. Usually banks hand out lump sums to charities or non-profit organizations and save on taxes. Why not hand the money to the volunteers directly who will work for the charities? The difference is that More people will probably volunteer if they hear they can take a year-off loan to travel that they repay through work than if a charity advertises its work and asks people to join it.
It will also be good PR for the first bank that tries it as it will enable it to build brand and loyalty with young people based on an experience that was fun early on in their adult life. The bank will thus be able to sell more of its products to them in the future banking on that loyalty and brand it built early on.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
The bank or other organization disperses the loan in daily installments based on whether the applicant checked for work or not that day.
This is what it might make sense for a bank to do that. Usually banks hand out lump sums to charities or non-profit organizations and save on taxes. Why not hand the money to the volunteers directly who will work for the charities? The difference is that More people will probably volunteer if they hear they can take a year-off loan to travel that they repay through work than if a charity advertises its work and asks people to join it.
It will also be good PR for the first bank that tries it as it will enable it to build brand and loyalty with young people based on an experience that was fun early on in their adult life. The bank will thus be able to sell more of its products to them in the future banking on that loyalty and brand it built early on.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Why this recession is so Un-romantic
When an economy goes into recession it would make sense if bank robberies were on the rise. A recession gives more reasons to steal a bank. Poor people need rich people's money and banks usually have it. Not this time. Bank robbers of the Robin Hood kind are very depressed. Why would they steal a bank? Whose money will they get away with? The Chief Executive Orcas have bonused away all the treasures and left huge losses for the adventurous Robin Hoods to bear. Whatever money is left in the bank is the people's money. For me, that's why this recession is so depressing and unfair. No Robins. No hoods either...
http://www.thinkaloo.com
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
The GIA Bill of Regulations
How about we name the new laws that will be drafted to regulate the financial system in the US as the GIA Bill of Regulations? GIA will be the reverse of AIG's initials. The innovation in the acronym will be its dual use and multiple i-substitutes. How you read out GIA will depend on how effective the new laws will be in containing future greed and irresponsibility. If the GIA Bill of Regulations fails to restrain gambling and irresponsible risk, people can refer to it as Grow Irresponsibly America. The adverb 'Irresponsibly' can be substituted by any such words as illegitimately, illegally, insanely, inscrutably, incomprehensibly, idiotically, inattentively, ill-advisedly etc.
On the other hand, if the bill produces a stable, well-regulated financial system, people can refer to it as Grow Intelligently America with such i-substitutes as intelligently, insightfully, ideally, indefatigably, impressively etc. The name of the agency that will supervise the laws will be called, what else, Greed Intelligence Agency.
www.thinkaloo.com
On the other hand, if the bill produces a stable, well-regulated financial system, people can refer to it as Grow Intelligently America with such i-substitutes as intelligently, insightfully, ideally, indefatigably, impressively etc. The name of the agency that will supervise the laws will be called, what else, Greed Intelligence Agency.
www.thinkaloo.com
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