Euro-English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl...

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people who know everything

Don't you just hate people who think they know everything?

I live in a small country but I have lived in the past in different countries and I notice that the smaller the country it is the more people tend to pretend they know everything.

I went to this small expensive place yesterday with my girlfriend who happens to be from France. It was a French restaurant with a cuisine that wasn't french at all (my gf is from France and I have lived in france for about 4 years).

Anyway when I told to the waiter that the food wasn't cooked properly as it supposed to be he told us that we have no idea about french food. I asked the waiter if he has ever been to france and he told me No. I asked him if they have a french cook and he told me No as well .. they have a cook trained to french cuisine. He was so insulting and so rude that pretty much I wanted to punch him :)))

By the way we ended up paying almost 100 euros for a 2 persons meal to a restaurant that didn't worth more than 40 euros for the food.

This incident is no exception. That kind of rude , stupid people are almost everywhere. And I don't know what to do . It's impossible to start a fight each time but at the same time I feel an idiot paying twice the amount I would pay in france when I am in Athens , Greece and eating their crap. And of course if I try to tell them my honest opinion I have to apologize about being honest because they know everything and I know nothing!

sorry about my long post but I had to share it with people.

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Alien currency name brainstorm

If we could trade products and services with aliens, in what currency should the transactions be made? Can you suggest a cool name for the new currency?

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