Priests can be funny

On a radio phone-in, a lady called the radio pastor. The pastor was a wise, grandfatherly gentleman who had that calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear. The lady, who was obviously crying, said, "Pastor, I was born blind, and I've been blind all my life. I don't mind so much being blind but I have some well meaning friends who tell me that if I had more faith I could be healed." The pastor asked her, "Tell me, do you carry one of those white canes?" "Yes I do," she replied. "Then the next time someone says that hit them over the head with the cane," he said. "Then tell them 'If you had more faith that wouldn't hurt' "!

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Handcuff Bracelet

Good for: Parties, Cocktails, Going Out...They should list all the ways you can use it. What happened to the notion that all good advertising should excite people's imagination for the product? Perhaps they realized it sells too well to people whose imagination is already very stimulated. Or it could be that they figured out playing down the excitement which comes after Parties, Cocktails and Going Out...that it was never going to stop people from imagining it anyway :)

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Suitcase Airlines

If I can't afford to pay the full airfare why can't I just pay the luggage-overweight cost and fly baggage class? Or fly almost-free by spreading the extra overweight cost among a few other passengers who are flying under their maximum luggage limit. Obviously, I will pay each one of my flight's sponsors a small tip for sharing my weight and for letting me depend on their sharing my kilos again in another flight.

I wouldn't be an illegal immigrant because I'm paying a fully taxable lower-than-economy fare plus I get to show my passport and boarding pass at the check-in counter. Weight-loss companies can offer special deals to people who are overweight and thus keep the price competitive for people of all shapes and heft. So long as I am flexible and don't mind being suit-cased, why should airlines object to it?

Newly designed suitcases will be required to make the travel more comfortable. Suitcase manufacturers can use NASA's know-how in making all things compact and practical for people on long flights.

Instead of being asked "How many people are traveling today?" and then being asked "And how many suitcases will you be checking in, Sir?", the ground attendant can just ask the latter and check me in and through the airport in one go. That means I will be boarding the plane faster than First-Class passengers do. Not bad! :)

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Beautiful Impressions

The perfect name to use if you plan to start a new escort agency in Italy or rename your existing business. Inspired by Tarantini, the Italian businessman who hired escorts to attend parties at Berlusconi's homes. Tarantini denies any wrongdoing and says he brought women to the parties to make a "beautiful impression." Italians are notorious for tax evasion so maybe avoiding paying taxes is his real motive for making a beautiful impression. Whatever the motive, however, I can't think of a better way to name an escort agency in Italy. Italians have an interesting sense of words, if they apply it to marketing their shady business, there's the next great world export from Italy :-))

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Kissing the germiest tourist attractions...

I read an article on CNN about the germiest tourist attractions in the world. 400,000 people kissed the Blamey stone in Ireland last year and Oscar Wilde fans who visit his tomb in Paris leave Wilde lipstick marks on it. There is no sign in these places saying they are disinfected daily and they're ok to kiss. The tourist authorities wouldn't want to make people self-conscious about it but how do we know they clean them every day? This article made me self-conscious, not just about tourist spots. In Greece, it's the custom to kiss religious icons in a church. I was forced to do it when I was little. I didn't like it because I believed I was the anti-Christ. Now I know I'm not (I can't even delete the memory of the kiss how could I have been the chosen one?) but seeing other people's lip-prints on the glass is still disgusting to me. Can someone convince me that those hairy/oily Greek priests clean the icons before they ask people to kiss them??

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A thought for Iranian protesters

What if the millions of Iranians who voted for the opposition parties and whose votes have been ignored marched in front of prisons and demanded to be prisoned? Instead of marching on the streets, getting beaten, killed or sent to prisons selectively, millions could march to the prisons directly. Show up every day in front of the gates. That would be a very powerful message, it would make a mockery of the government's selectively arresting people and putting them to prison and be a strong show of solidarity with the people inside.

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Chuck Saw and Ramen noodles

Due to a stomach infection, I've been reverting back to my college budget and habits the last two weeks, Chuck Shaw and Ramen noodles being two of the main food groups that keep me culinary company. I realized it's not a good plan to put Tupperware in the oven-even if it just to heat up said Ramen noodles. But it's not necessarily a bad idea, melted plastic with Chuck Saw and Ramen noodles can be a good substitute when you run out of Chuck Saw and Ramen noodles..lol

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