A typical blond trying to figure out the cause of her coarse throat. A typical smartass suggesting that it's either too much intercourse or simply her understanding of intercoarse. Butt, Off Coarse! :)
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Thursday, November 12, 2009
IQ University (99% parties, 1% tests)
If you're not smart I don't expect you will ever appreciate my concept. But if you are, I know you've already thought about it on your own and so I grant you free admission to the class of the best and the brightest. The IQ university only requires testing your IQ every semester to make sure it never drops. When you score higher with every new test, you graduate with Honors. The stick is IQ tests. The carrot is endless parties! No studying, no reading, no homework.
Are you wondering this is all a joke? Are you perhaps thinking why would anyone want to employ someone who partied through college? That's because He is the elite dude. That's because He is among the best and the brightest and His mind hasn't been spoiled by the arbitrary confines of our rigid educational system.
And by partying all the time while in college, He feels ready and fresh to do some well-paid work for a change. The only thing He needs to prove is His higher intelligence
He was gifted with. The reason for which our current education system is against the IQU has to do with the fact that the world is inhabited (and will soon become uninhabited because of it) by people who are not smart enough to be admitted to IQU and thus want no one else to be admitted either.
If you're still dismissing the concept in the back of your mind, then you definitely Don't belong to the elite. I just wasted these lines trying to convince you about the merits of my concept because your lack of higher intelligence forbids you from appreciating its lofty workings.
For most of your life, you eagerly lumped the fact that you're not a genius and so you're harboring resentment towards those who are. But you can do us all a favor and get back to your homework and let the truly talented enjoy the gift they were given, which is....Partiesss, ooops I meant high IQ..:D:D:D
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Are you wondering this is all a joke? Are you perhaps thinking why would anyone want to employ someone who partied through college? That's because He is the elite dude. That's because He is among the best and the brightest and His mind hasn't been spoiled by the arbitrary confines of our rigid educational system.
And by partying all the time while in college, He feels ready and fresh to do some well-paid work for a change. The only thing He needs to prove is His higher intelligence
He was gifted with. The reason for which our current education system is against the IQU has to do with the fact that the world is inhabited (and will soon become uninhabited because of it) by people who are not smart enough to be admitted to IQU and thus want no one else to be admitted either.
If you're still dismissing the concept in the back of your mind, then you definitely Don't belong to the elite. I just wasted these lines trying to convince you about the merits of my concept because your lack of higher intelligence forbids you from appreciating its lofty workings.
For most of your life, you eagerly lumped the fact that you're not a genius and so you're harboring resentment towards those who are. But you can do us all a favor and get back to your homework and let the truly talented enjoy the gift they were given, which is....Partiesss, ooops I meant high IQ..:D:D:D
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Lovers
"They love and hate, they grapple and spoon, they want and don't want, and as time goes on they each sink deeper under the other's skin. It's a real show, patty-cake, the follies and the circus all rolled into one, and dollars to doughnuts it's going to be like that till the day they die."
Who is the author behind these lines? It's one in a million shot. No search engine can ever reveal who this passage belongs to. No one, except the author himself perhaps, can tell. But will the author notice the words are his in the first place? Thrown as they are in a totally random, new context that bears no relation or reference to the original work itself, will they sound familiar to him? Who knows.
Assuming he can tell right away the words are his, how does he proceed next? As far as he can see, he has two options. He can openly claim ownership and satisfy the curiosity of everyone here. Simple as this solution is, it bothers him when he contrasts it with his second option.
He can let the mystery linger, perhaps perpetually inside the minds of his new readers. After all, they are no more than a motley crew of online strangers who've never heard of him before and for all he can tell, they will never be interested in reading any of his original works. So why bother. Option two seems fun but the author's vanity will never be affirmed and no matter how much he wishes he didn't have to grapple with it right now, he can't ignore its powerful grip on him.
As he reflects between the two options, he unexpectedly realizes there's a third one he must think through if he's to proceed with option two.
Suppose someone else reads the words and recognizes who they belong to and then that someone else comes out openly and points to the author before he has a chance to do so himself. Suppose that someone else is a fan or a loyal reader who instantly recognizes the words of his beloved author and rushes to tell everyone who the author is.
The idea that his readers will be able to recognize his work even when it's taken out of context is a flattering thought to him adding strokes to his vanity. However pleasing it is to contemplate, option three is not as straightforward a solution as it initially sounds and for some reason its very conception now seems all the more troubling to him.
Waiting for a reader to restore due credit to the author when he, the author, could do so himself sounds as if he is too willing to cede control of his actions to someone else on something that involves him so intimately. It's true that for all anyone here cares, the author can come forward and claim ownership by portraying himself as a reader or fan and use that person to point back to the author. We will never know who the reader is, let alone ever suspect he or she could be the author. By deciding to go with option three, the author reckons, he gets to settle the issue on his terms.
Alas, his anxious mind sees the set up and immediately drops option three. The very person who took the author's words out of their original context and is now challenging him to claim back what he owns is a very devious mind who knows very well what she's up to. He can see it clearly now. By explaining option three to everyone here in full detail, nadia or whatever her real name is, has irrevocably surrendered all the secrecy involved in handling the affair according to option three.
It doesn't take much to figure out that the more we read into the lines, the more we get spooked to expect that anyone (other than the author) who references the words back to the author could be the author himself. While it's true that we'll never be 100% certain it was the author acting as a fan or a loyal reader, the very suspicion that anyone acting on behalf of the author can be the author spoils away the pleasure of proceeding with option three.
By opening his eyes to the setup, the author now feels relieved to know he has avoided its roguish contraptions and proceeds to drop option three.
So far, the only thing we know about the author behind the quoted passage is that he is a man. Not necessarily a man in real life but at least someone with a male name.
For all we know the author could very well be a woman or a girl hiding behind a male pseudonym. Perhaps to complicate matters more, the author could be a male wishing to be perceived by the public as a female writing under a male name. Perhaps the quoted words don't belong to any real author out there and are the fictitious work of an online prankster who took it upon herself to entertain other people's minds.
The author, however, knows none of this is true and none of this will matter when he openly re-connects his name to the quotes. But as of now, he still hasn't made up his mind. No matter how much effort he exerts to make the right decision, the options before him come to a splitting end. Either he comes out and reveals who he is, or he musters control over his vanity and goes with option two, never to allow himself to reveal himself and thus neither let anyone else do so on his behalf...
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Who is the author behind these lines? It's one in a million shot. No search engine can ever reveal who this passage belongs to. No one, except the author himself perhaps, can tell. But will the author notice the words are his in the first place? Thrown as they are in a totally random, new context that bears no relation or reference to the original work itself, will they sound familiar to him? Who knows.
Assuming he can tell right away the words are his, how does he proceed next? As far as he can see, he has two options. He can openly claim ownership and satisfy the curiosity of everyone here. Simple as this solution is, it bothers him when he contrasts it with his second option.
He can let the mystery linger, perhaps perpetually inside the minds of his new readers. After all, they are no more than a motley crew of online strangers who've never heard of him before and for all he can tell, they will never be interested in reading any of his original works. So why bother. Option two seems fun but the author's vanity will never be affirmed and no matter how much he wishes he didn't have to grapple with it right now, he can't ignore its powerful grip on him.
As he reflects between the two options, he unexpectedly realizes there's a third one he must think through if he's to proceed with option two.
Suppose someone else reads the words and recognizes who they belong to and then that someone else comes out openly and points to the author before he has a chance to do so himself. Suppose that someone else is a fan or a loyal reader who instantly recognizes the words of his beloved author and rushes to tell everyone who the author is.
The idea that his readers will be able to recognize his work even when it's taken out of context is a flattering thought to him adding strokes to his vanity. However pleasing it is to contemplate, option three is not as straightforward a solution as it initially sounds and for some reason its very conception now seems all the more troubling to him.
Waiting for a reader to restore due credit to the author when he, the author, could do so himself sounds as if he is too willing to cede control of his actions to someone else on something that involves him so intimately. It's true that for all anyone here cares, the author can come forward and claim ownership by portraying himself as a reader or fan and use that person to point back to the author. We will never know who the reader is, let alone ever suspect he or she could be the author. By deciding to go with option three, the author reckons, he gets to settle the issue on his terms.
Alas, his anxious mind sees the set up and immediately drops option three. The very person who took the author's words out of their original context and is now challenging him to claim back what he owns is a very devious mind who knows very well what she's up to. He can see it clearly now. By explaining option three to everyone here in full detail, nadia or whatever her real name is, has irrevocably surrendered all the secrecy involved in handling the affair according to option three.
It doesn't take much to figure out that the more we read into the lines, the more we get spooked to expect that anyone (other than the author) who references the words back to the author could be the author himself. While it's true that we'll never be 100% certain it was the author acting as a fan or a loyal reader, the very suspicion that anyone acting on behalf of the author can be the author spoils away the pleasure of proceeding with option three.
By opening his eyes to the setup, the author now feels relieved to know he has avoided its roguish contraptions and proceeds to drop option three.
So far, the only thing we know about the author behind the quoted passage is that he is a man. Not necessarily a man in real life but at least someone with a male name.
For all we know the author could very well be a woman or a girl hiding behind a male pseudonym. Perhaps to complicate matters more, the author could be a male wishing to be perceived by the public as a female writing under a male name. Perhaps the quoted words don't belong to any real author out there and are the fictitious work of an online prankster who took it upon herself to entertain other people's minds.
The author, however, knows none of this is true and none of this will matter when he openly re-connects his name to the quotes. But as of now, he still hasn't made up his mind. No matter how much effort he exerts to make the right decision, the options before him come to a splitting end. Either he comes out and reveals who he is, or he musters control over his vanity and goes with option two, never to allow himself to reveal himself and thus neither let anyone else do so on his behalf...
http://www.thinkaloo.com
The Republican enigma
When Bush was in office, Republicans claimed they were doing good, but now that Obama is in office they claim they are doing good still but Obama has tanked the economy. What's going on?
The way to bridge this seeming contradiction is by looking at it this way. The Republicans may now be saying they are doing good still while Obama is in office but few people believe them anymore and their popularity is not going up as a result of their claims.
It seems to me the Republicans are great at shooting themselves on the foot and that is good for the country, good for Obama and good for the Republicans in so far as they discovered a way to allow themselves to feel good about themselves even if the rest of the country doesn't take them seriously anymore.
That skill of doing good at every level and pleasing oneself by hurting oneself which the Republicans so amply possess at the moment should be highly commended :)
http://www.thinkaloo.com
The way to bridge this seeming contradiction is by looking at it this way. The Republicans may now be saying they are doing good still while Obama is in office but few people believe them anymore and their popularity is not going up as a result of their claims.
It seems to me the Republicans are great at shooting themselves on the foot and that is good for the country, good for Obama and good for the Republicans in so far as they discovered a way to allow themselves to feel good about themselves even if the rest of the country doesn't take them seriously anymore.
That skill of doing good at every level and pleasing oneself by hurting oneself which the Republicans so amply possess at the moment should be highly commended :)
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Boog-mesis
It's a bug that lives in your nose and it's hard to pull out like a regular booger, it sticks to the inside of your nostrils and may stay there for ever. It's called boog-mesis and comes from a beautiful orange-blue flower that is most common in Queensland and South Australia. The flower exudes alluring aromas that make people think it's harmless. Even the slightest whiff can be enough to welcome the tiny bugs in your nose. To recover from boog-mesis, you'll have to take nasal spray every day for a month before intense sneezing subsides and even then healing may not be complete as the bugs can fester in your nose for months. Be careful during spring and summer. Mesis!
http://www.thinkaloo.com
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Choco Pens
The idea is chocolate bars in the shape of any item students carry with them at school and place on their desks. Good ideas for shapes include pens, pencils, notebooks, stationary, exam sheets etc. To be eaten or chewed upon when bored during class. Some students are in the bad habit of chewing the tip of the pen when bored, why not chew a chocolate bar that looks like the pen but tastes so much better? The taste can be anything the student likes
http://www.thinkaloo.com
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Kill 2 Birds or (up to) 600 fish with 1 Stone!
There is a fishing practice in Japan that uses birds to catch fish. A British friend reminded me about it when he heard me using the phrase, kill two birds with one stone.
"If you aim for the wrong bird in Japan", he said, "your kill might cost you up to 600 fish on a good day". Yeah, right. It's true though. Not many people know about cormorant fishing so if you're interested here's how it's done.
The cormorant is a dark-colored water bird with a long neck, a hooked bill, and a distensible throat pouch. The fishermen keep the birds on individuals leashes and can handle up to 12 of these large birds at the same time. Around the birds' neck they place a small ring to prevent them from swallowing fish above a certain size.
Cormorant fishing only takes place at night. To attract a fish a bright burning wood brazier is suspended above the water. The birds are then allowed to begin their hunt.
When the bird's pouch is full, it is pulled back into the boat and its catch is removed. Each time the bird is put into water, it catches from two to four fish and a total catch on a good night is about 50. Cormorants need about two weeks of training before they can do their job properly. Cormorant fishing was invented to catch a river fish called ayu or sweetfish which disdains fisherman's bait. The fish is highly prized in Japan.
When you throw a stone to hit two birds in Japan, be careful which birds you aim for. Cormorants are worth a small fortune and are great entertainment to watch. :)
http://www.thinkaloo.com
"If you aim for the wrong bird in Japan", he said, "your kill might cost you up to 600 fish on a good day". Yeah, right. It's true though. Not many people know about cormorant fishing so if you're interested here's how it's done.
The cormorant is a dark-colored water bird with a long neck, a hooked bill, and a distensible throat pouch. The fishermen keep the birds on individuals leashes and can handle up to 12 of these large birds at the same time. Around the birds' neck they place a small ring to prevent them from swallowing fish above a certain size.
Cormorant fishing only takes place at night. To attract a fish a bright burning wood brazier is suspended above the water. The birds are then allowed to begin their hunt.
When the bird's pouch is full, it is pulled back into the boat and its catch is removed. Each time the bird is put into water, it catches from two to four fish and a total catch on a good night is about 50. Cormorants need about two weeks of training before they can do their job properly. Cormorant fishing was invented to catch a river fish called ayu or sweetfish which disdains fisherman's bait. The fish is highly prized in Japan.
When you throw a stone to hit two birds in Japan, be careful which birds you aim for. Cormorants are worth a small fortune and are great entertainment to watch. :)
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
