I use far fewer calories than the average person. I am much more economically and environmentally sustainable. I exhale less carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. I use less space and thus I don't need a large house to live in. If the earth was populated by people my size, we could sustain a much larger population for longer. Next time you are about to dismiss or call someone "short", think about all the benefits he or she contributes to the planet and say something short and nice to them about me! :)
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Monday, November 9, 2009
Tie back to its origins
Ties were originally used as napkins. They were not designed to serve as something nice to wear but had a function. I would like to have a tie that I can wear as a tie that comes with an extra layer I can use as a napkin. What you see in this photo is close to what I have in mind but not exactly. The photo shows a napkin with a tie painted on it. As you can see it has the shape of a napkin. I would like to have the opposite. A tie with the shape of a tie to also be used as a napkin. I know that with self-cleaning nano-fabrics we will soon be able to use any piece of cloth as a napkin, but a tie would be the most obvious one for me to use because the world associates it with formality, neatness and cleanliness and it's just too tempting to see people getting shocked when I wipe my mouth with it.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
http://www.thinkaloo.com
If your leader is a clown, is your country a circus?
I used to find it disturbing that a country's Prime Minister is subjected to 2,500 court hearings on charges of bribery and corruption but's never convicted. After reading Berlusconi's latest clown statements I changed my mind. I realize there are some things in a leader money can't buy that are worse than bribery, worse than corruption, worse than what he claims are false accusations of bribery and corruption. Delusions of grandeur is the vice I'm speaking of. Berlusconi just told us he is The Best Prime Minister in human history boasting, among his other well-known "priceless" vices, paying more than 200 million Euros over the years in consultant fees and...Judges(!!)
Need he slip more? I don't think so. And the Oscar for best Honest Clown performance goes to.....Signore Berlusconi!!
Dear Clown Prime Minister of Italy,
As your private banker/secret conduit to impartial justice and unbiased judges, I must warn you. If Unlimited Currency bailed you out all those years, Unlimited Arrogance is the currency to bail you "in" this time. Are you sure you don't want to go back conducting your transactions in Euro? It might be a very wise thing to do. Those fat-cat judges will be better fed in Euro than in your own hard-to-exchange clowrrency.
Dear Desperate PM-Clown of Italy,
Speaking on behalf of the same mankind you speak on behalf of in reference to yourself, please be happy to know that there's Never(!) existed any other clown leader as honest as you. So honest about your own bribery practices that your people follow your lead wherever they go.
10 French troops died at the hands of the Taliban in Afghanistan in August 2008. They died needlessly because the Italians who were stationed there prior to the French troops taking over were bribing the insurgents not to cause trouble. When they switched control, they failed to inform the French troops. As a result, when the French moved into the Sarobi area near Kabul and the protection payments stopped, the Taliban struck, killed them and then mutilated them.
Who's to blame the Italian troops for the actual act of bribery when the Prime Minister in charge of the country brags about giving 200 million Euros in bribes? Everyone in the clown movement knows no bribery is more innocent and justified than the one carried out by the Prime Minister. Why? Because he didn't fail to inform the public before it was too late. Silvio came clean. The Italian army never admitted to the practice until Americans intercepted a call where the unsuspecting Italians talked about the bribes to the Taliban.
History will make note of Berlusconi's coming honest about his dirty work, something his troops failed to do with disastrous consequences. Rest assured that so long as Berlusconi keeps his payments in Euros, history will "judge" him positively.
If bribery wasn't so lethal as was the case in Afghanistan, it would have been tremendously entertaining to contemplate it. When I say entertaining, I mean entertaining as in spending an evening at the circus or something clowny to that effect. Since I seem to be seriously contemplating the whole thing, why don't I check when Circo Medrano comes to town next? Their reputation is quite good I hear.
Until justice is served, I think I want to save my applause and cheers for when Italy's real clowns come to my town. If it wasn't for those 10 French troops dying in Afghanistan, these bribery affairs wouldn't have been so disturbing.
Why does French naivete have to spoil all that circus fun??
And what the hell are we doing sending multinational troops in Afghanistan to kill when the Italians can do a much better job bribing everyone out?
Something tells me that if we let Afghanistan in Italian hands, we'll soon see foreign leaders making state visits with full-scale parades and all that pomp. Not a bomb dropped, not a drop of blood spilled.
Who knows, if we all agree to put Berlusconi in charge of disbursing the payments, the Taliban could agree for a photo-opp with Osama bin Laden as part of the protocol. If you know how to bribe, nothing's too impossible it seems.
So I seriously worry now, why do we need the Americans bombing and killing and missiling the bribe-hangry Taliban when the Italians can give the people what they really want, restore peace, security and economic development and do all that without a blink?
Sounds too preposterous to say but the antidote to the Taliban might very well be sending Medrano in Kabul.
Think about it next time the Circo visits your town. Seriously, think about it!
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Need he slip more? I don't think so. And the Oscar for best Honest Clown performance goes to.....Signore Berlusconi!!
Dear Clown Prime Minister of Italy,
As your private banker/secret conduit to impartial justice and unbiased judges, I must warn you. If Unlimited Currency bailed you out all those years, Unlimited Arrogance is the currency to bail you "in" this time. Are you sure you don't want to go back conducting your transactions in Euro? It might be a very wise thing to do. Those fat-cat judges will be better fed in Euro than in your own hard-to-exchange clowrrency.
Dear Desperate PM-Clown of Italy,
Speaking on behalf of the same mankind you speak on behalf of in reference to yourself, please be happy to know that there's Never(!) existed any other clown leader as honest as you. So honest about your own bribery practices that your people follow your lead wherever they go.
10 French troops died at the hands of the Taliban in Afghanistan in August 2008. They died needlessly because the Italians who were stationed there prior to the French troops taking over were bribing the insurgents not to cause trouble. When they switched control, they failed to inform the French troops. As a result, when the French moved into the Sarobi area near Kabul and the protection payments stopped, the Taliban struck, killed them and then mutilated them.
Who's to blame the Italian troops for the actual act of bribery when the Prime Minister in charge of the country brags about giving 200 million Euros in bribes? Everyone in the clown movement knows no bribery is more innocent and justified than the one carried out by the Prime Minister. Why? Because he didn't fail to inform the public before it was too late. Silvio came clean. The Italian army never admitted to the practice until Americans intercepted a call where the unsuspecting Italians talked about the bribes to the Taliban.
History will make note of Berlusconi's coming honest about his dirty work, something his troops failed to do with disastrous consequences. Rest assured that so long as Berlusconi keeps his payments in Euros, history will "judge" him positively.
If bribery wasn't so lethal as was the case in Afghanistan, it would have been tremendously entertaining to contemplate it. When I say entertaining, I mean entertaining as in spending an evening at the circus or something clowny to that effect. Since I seem to be seriously contemplating the whole thing, why don't I check when Circo Medrano comes to town next? Their reputation is quite good I hear.
Until justice is served, I think I want to save my applause and cheers for when Italy's real clowns come to my town. If it wasn't for those 10 French troops dying in Afghanistan, these bribery affairs wouldn't have been so disturbing.
Why does French naivete have to spoil all that circus fun??
And what the hell are we doing sending multinational troops in Afghanistan to kill when the Italians can do a much better job bribing everyone out?
Something tells me that if we let Afghanistan in Italian hands, we'll soon see foreign leaders making state visits with full-scale parades and all that pomp. Not a bomb dropped, not a drop of blood spilled.
Who knows, if we all agree to put Berlusconi in charge of disbursing the payments, the Taliban could agree for a photo-opp with Osama bin Laden as part of the protocol. If you know how to bribe, nothing's too impossible it seems.
So I seriously worry now, why do we need the Americans bombing and killing and missiling the bribe-hangry Taliban when the Italians can give the people what they really want, restore peace, security and economic development and do all that without a blink?
Sounds too preposterous to say but the antidote to the Taliban might very well be sending Medrano in Kabul.
Think about it next time the Circo visits your town. Seriously, think about it!
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Make bribes legal
From the guys that gave us the Mafia and inspired Don Corleone, why not let them take the lead on this? The Prime Minister does it, the judges do it, the troops do it, most businessmen I assume do it too. Who's left? If everyone does it, and whoever doesn't accepts it as a fact of life anyway, why not nudge Italians to take the next step and make it all legal? For one, it will help make us foreigners less confused about their norms and practices. Confusion mostly results from claiming that something is illegal when everyone either does it or accepts it. Holland made the use of drugs legal, I see no problem with Italy doing the same with bribery. They seem to be equally addicted. The measure will save lives, money (spent on legal fees) and last but not least...horses' heads!
http://www.thinkaloo.com
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Non Stop Drinking :)
A man walks into a bar at five o' clock in the afternoon and orders three scotches. Not one after the other but all three at once. The bartender is a little puzzled by this unusual request, but he doesn't say anything and gives the man what he wants - three scotches lined up on the bar in a row. The man drinks them down one by one, pays the bill and leaves.
The next day, he comes back at five o' clock and orders the same thing. Three scotches all at once. And the day after that, and every day after that for two weeks.
Finally, curiosity gets the better of the barman. I don't mean to be nosy, he says, but you've been here every day for the past two weeks ordering your three scotches, and I'd just like to know why. Most people take them one at a time.
Ah, the man says, the answer is very simple.
I have two brothers. One of them lives in New York, one lives in San Francisco, and the three of us are very close. As a way of honoring our friendship, we all go into a bar at five in the afternoon and order three scotches, silently toasting one another's health, pretending that we're all together in the same place.
The barman nods, finally understanding the reason for this strange ritual, and thinks no more about it.
The business goes on for another four months. The man comes in every day at five o' clock, and the barman serves him the three drinks. Then something happens.
The man shows up at his regular hour one afternoon, but this time he orders only two scotches. The bartender is worried, and after a while he plucks up his courage and says: I don't mean to be nosy, but every day for the past four and a half months you've come in here and ordered three scotches. Now you order two. I know it's none of my business, but I just hope nothing's gone wrong with your family.
Nothing's wrong, the man says, as bright and chipper as ever.
What is it then? the bartender asks.
The answer is very simple, the man says. I've stopped drinking.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
The next day, he comes back at five o' clock and orders the same thing. Three scotches all at once. And the day after that, and every day after that for two weeks.
Finally, curiosity gets the better of the barman. I don't mean to be nosy, he says, but you've been here every day for the past two weeks ordering your three scotches, and I'd just like to know why. Most people take them one at a time.
Ah, the man says, the answer is very simple.
I have two brothers. One of them lives in New York, one lives in San Francisco, and the three of us are very close. As a way of honoring our friendship, we all go into a bar at five in the afternoon and order three scotches, silently toasting one another's health, pretending that we're all together in the same place.
The barman nods, finally understanding the reason for this strange ritual, and thinks no more about it.
The business goes on for another four months. The man comes in every day at five o' clock, and the barman serves him the three drinks. Then something happens.
The man shows up at his regular hour one afternoon, but this time he orders only two scotches. The bartender is worried, and after a while he plucks up his courage and says: I don't mean to be nosy, but every day for the past four and a half months you've come in here and ordered three scotches. Now you order two. I know it's none of my business, but I just hope nothing's gone wrong with your family.
Nothing's wrong, the man says, as bright and chipper as ever.
What is it then? the bartender asks.
The answer is very simple, the man says. I've stopped drinking.
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Why is the world of the rich so Unbelievable?
If you are about to spend $1 bn to build a lavish 27-storey house and buy your wife a luxury Airbus jet, what's the point of giving yourself a 66% pay cut?
I am holding a copy of the Financial Times Weekend Edition and on the first page I read in big letters the title of the article,"A towering example from Ambani" I'm thinking whoever this Ambani guy is, he must have done something very noble to have him on the front page as someone who leads the world by the example of his actions.
Then the first two paragraphs read like this and I quote them here to gear you up (I was)
"Mukesh Ambani, Asia's richest man, who is spending about $1 bn to build a lavish 27-storey house and buy his wife a luxury Airbus jet, this week gave himself a 66 per cent pay cut."
"In reducing his remuneration to "set a personal example of moderation in executive compensation", Mr Ambani, who controls Reliance Industries, became the first high-profile Indian executive to heed his government's call for austerity in corporate compensation."
Is that supposed to make me feel good because I almost feel like crying here, the tears are swelling under my eyes and I can't continue reading the article any more. I feel terrible for the guy. 66% pay cut when his wife is getting him into so many expenses with the new house and Airbus jet?
I find the title and opening of the story too comical to laugh it makes me cry.
Are we supposed to believe that this guy voluntarily took a cut in his pay because his government called upon him to show modesty and austerity in compensating himself?
Are we supposed to believe that he will not be saving himself money cutting his pay all the while selling himself to the world as someone who is actually experiencing the effects of the recession through the pay cut?
What a towering example of hypocrisy we are lured to accept.
I suggest we make it a rule worldwide that billionaires and millionaires never take a pay-cut in their compensation no matter how severe a recession is and no matter how high their official salary. The whole point of having a salary cut is to have a cut in expenses and expensive lifestyle habits. Otherwise, there's no point cutting it to set an example if expenses are not also cut!
What's more depressing than economic austerity is the depression that arises from taking us all, beings of a lesser God, for fools.
The article continues by saying that,
"Tax experts told the Financial Times that Indian tycoons' salaries and bonuses were not their main income and many top executives preferred to earn low wages, which are taxed at about 30 per cent, and instead be remunerated more with dividends, which are tax free."
Can someone explain how Mr. Ambani sets an example by not cutting down on his expensive lifestyle?
I just don't see what the Indian government is so proud about. At best, they forced Mr. Ambani to take a better look at his tax structure and save himself money.
If they tell me that their aim was to make it possible for him to spend his $1 billion in order to stimulate the plutonomy and make the dream of becoming rich like Ambani one day possible for millions of poor Indians, then I can accept that at least we're not taken for fools.
There are no funny words or phrases or emotions in the article, but for some reason this hilarious reporting cracked a smile on my face something that I haven't experienced from reading the FT's front page in a long long time!
http://www.thinkaloo.com
I am holding a copy of the Financial Times Weekend Edition and on the first page I read in big letters the title of the article,"A towering example from Ambani" I'm thinking whoever this Ambani guy is, he must have done something very noble to have him on the front page as someone who leads the world by the example of his actions.
Then the first two paragraphs read like this and I quote them here to gear you up (I was)
"Mukesh Ambani, Asia's richest man, who is spending about $1 bn to build a lavish 27-storey house and buy his wife a luxury Airbus jet, this week gave himself a 66 per cent pay cut."
"In reducing his remuneration to "set a personal example of moderation in executive compensation", Mr Ambani, who controls Reliance Industries, became the first high-profile Indian executive to heed his government's call for austerity in corporate compensation."
Is that supposed to make me feel good because I almost feel like crying here, the tears are swelling under my eyes and I can't continue reading the article any more. I feel terrible for the guy. 66% pay cut when his wife is getting him into so many expenses with the new house and Airbus jet?
I find the title and opening of the story too comical to laugh it makes me cry.
Are we supposed to believe that this guy voluntarily took a cut in his pay because his government called upon him to show modesty and austerity in compensating himself?
Are we supposed to believe that he will not be saving himself money cutting his pay all the while selling himself to the world as someone who is actually experiencing the effects of the recession through the pay cut?
What a towering example of hypocrisy we are lured to accept.
I suggest we make it a rule worldwide that billionaires and millionaires never take a pay-cut in their compensation no matter how severe a recession is and no matter how high their official salary. The whole point of having a salary cut is to have a cut in expenses and expensive lifestyle habits. Otherwise, there's no point cutting it to set an example if expenses are not also cut!
What's more depressing than economic austerity is the depression that arises from taking us all, beings of a lesser God, for fools.
The article continues by saying that,
"Tax experts told the Financial Times that Indian tycoons' salaries and bonuses were not their main income and many top executives preferred to earn low wages, which are taxed at about 30 per cent, and instead be remunerated more with dividends, which are tax free."
Can someone explain how Mr. Ambani sets an example by not cutting down on his expensive lifestyle?
I just don't see what the Indian government is so proud about. At best, they forced Mr. Ambani to take a better look at his tax structure and save himself money.
If they tell me that their aim was to make it possible for him to spend his $1 billion in order to stimulate the plutonomy and make the dream of becoming rich like Ambani one day possible for millions of poor Indians, then I can accept that at least we're not taken for fools.
There are no funny words or phrases or emotions in the article, but for some reason this hilarious reporting cracked a smile on my face something that I haven't experienced from reading the FT's front page in a long long time!
http://www.thinkaloo.com
Moisturize your neck
Women always put moisturizer on our face but never get it down on our neck. The skin on our neck, however, is the same stuff as on our face, but it ages twice as fast because we don't ever put any cream on it. If you like to speed down signs of aging on your face, apply the cream on your neck. It's common-sense but a good tip nonetheless. Try it!
http://www.thinkaloo.com
http://www.thinkaloo.com
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